Hi!
In Happy Wrestling Land #39, the AJPW Champion Carnival comes to a close. NJPW returns to the Fukuoka Dome. Stardom runs two PPVs in one week. And it’s WRESTLEMANIA… BACKLASH!
AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 Day 8 (4/29/22) - Captain Lou
Top 10 WWE Matches of the Month (April 2022) - Dum Dum Daniels
NJPW Wrestling Dontaku 2022 (5/1/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 Finals (5/4/22) - Captain Lou
Stardom Cinderella Tournament 2022 Finals (4/29/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
Stardom Fukuoka Goddess Festival (5/5/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2022 (5/8/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 – Day 8 (4/29/22)
Takuya Nomura vs. Kuma Arashi – Champion Carnival (Block A)
We are live in Nagoya and it’s Wrestlemania III, baby. Nomura and Koomz did their version of Hogan/Andre, building most of the match around Takuya’s body slam comeback. The Big vs. Small logistics were on point, Nomura’s spunkiness adding a fun new layer to Kuma’s usual template. Extra points for those sweet Ali kicks during the beatdown. ***1/4
Suwama vs. Yoshitatsu – Champion Carnival (Block B)
These two last met in a certified 4-star slobberknocker during Big Wama’s most recent TC reign. This was a much more expeditive match featuring none of Tatsu’s legendary Oudou Strong Style tropes. Totally got the job done until the wonky banana peel finish. Not sure if it was poor timing or Wada Dementia, but yeah. Not ideal. ***
Kento Miyahara vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (Block B)
Love these two, but they haven’t 100% figured out the Long Version of their match. When you look at Kento’s long-form epics with Jake Lee or Suwama, there’s often some sort of limb work subplot to keep you engaged in the early goings. Because Yuma isn’t much of a Worker of Limbs, half of this basically came down to ring-side brawling and filler holds. Nothing super offensive, but there’s room for improvement.
Nitpicking aside, the second half landed right on the money and both guys worked their asses off. Off the charts energy from both – the good people of Nagoya getting swept up by the ZEN NIHON PURORESU. Every time they wrestle, there’s a sense that Yuma’s inching closer to that elusive win on Kento. This came through more than ever in the ending stretch here, as they wisely used the time limit to leave Aoyagi in a dominant position.
Even if this wasn’t the all timer some were expecting, the action was pretty hard to deny once it got going. If they can tighten up some of those early sections, Yuma’s eventual passing of the torch moment will be a stone-cold classic. ***3/4
Top 10 WWE Matches of the Month – April 2022
Much like in 2020 and 2021, WWE’s emphasis on in-ring competition was lacking. Much of the roster could still “go” but the option for an impressive showing felt rare. Enter April and WrestleMania, which at least usually provided a few opportunities.
If I’m ranking a top 10 WWE wrestlers so far this year, it is this: Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, Roderick Strong, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Sami Zayn, The Usos, Gunther and Liv Morgan. None of them would rank in a top 10 if including AEW, NJPW, and Stardom. That’s not hating; it’s information science.
1. RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Bianca Belair (WrestleMania 38 4/2/22)
It’s no secret the wrestling business is filled with waste, but on occasion a few things find their way onto the same plane and manage something spectacular. This match in the middle of WrestleMania was the best example of that from WWE in a while. The story opened at SummerSlam in one of the dumbest possible ways but against all odds closed up beautifully.
Becky Lynch delivers all her offense with a viciousness that transforms her into the heel that seemed impossible nine months ago. It creates a perfect storm for Bianca’s rally, whose comeback was highlighted by a few incredible spots worthy of the stage. Great wrestlers, characters, journeys, entrances, costumes, chemistry… the tone was set before the bell, the action stayed fast-paced and surprising, and the 3-count was downright exhilarating.
2. No Holds Barred: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens (WrestleMania 38 4/2/22)
Steve Austin’s first match in match in 20 years was not promoted as an actual match, and anyone who’s followed WWE for any amount of time could not have been faulted for thinking it would peak at a few punches then a kick and Stunner. Nope! Once the bell rang ol’ Stone Cold and Kevin Owens had a match that didn’t feel much different from a late-90s Stone Cold match, even if those were pretty lean themselves.
They brawled through the crowd, Austin took a suplex on concrete, Owens bumped like a maniac, and Austin took Owens for an ATV ride before the kick and Stunner. Supremely, satisfyingly delivered nostalgia.
3. Anything Goes Match: Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville (WrestleMania 38 4/3/22)
“I can’t believe he took an Exploder through a table.” That was the first note I typed in my phone about this match, before I put it down and embraced the greatness alongside friends. Johnny Knoxville and (some of) the cast of Jackass went to Mania and had a very fun match, one that delivered on entertainment but also honestly pretty brilliantly built-up to its’ big finish, which was based around a series of mousetrap spots.
4. Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory (WrestleMania 38 4/3/22)
This wasn’t Okada vs. Omega but it was the spectacle match WWE occasionally lays out really well when the boss says so, rewarding McAfee’s commitment to the job (and history as a pro athlete) by having him play lead role in what was basically a wrestling fan’s dream wrestling match. McAfee’s energetic and ridiculous entrance provided an excellent set piece that was amplified by McMahon and Theory’s endless gloating, the visual representation of what an entire wrestling fandom generally feels like it’s up against all the time. Great Michael Cole commentary performance too.
5. Seth Rollins vs. Cody Rhodes (WrestleMania 38 4/2/22)
This was the very good but not great match that both Rollins and Rhodes became very good at doing as it became what WWE liked in their big matches for some reason. It goes long and has a few genuinely awesome moments but because it goes long they get sort of lost and all you’re left is with a good wrestling match being called great.
6. Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz & Logan Paul (WrestleMania 38 4/2/22)
It might not be a good thing that wrestling has been de-constructed so much to the point that Logan Paul can walk into WrestleMania and perform like a top-tier heel, but also: maybe it is? Having two of wrestling’s most reliable face and heels in the ring helped, but social media celebrity guy was the revelation: tall, jacked, exudes dipshit, and hit his spots with enough timing that it was evident the man put work in.
7. NXT UK Title: Ilja Dragunov [c] vs. Roderick Strong (NXT UK 4/7/22)
If you’ve seen either guy in WWE, you know the deal. If you haven’t, go watch them beat the shit out of each other.
8. Triple Threat Tag Match – RAW Tag Team Title: RK-Bro [c] vs. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy (WrestleMania 38 4/3/22)
Once they got through with the formalities all the boys just went wild, delivering a deliciously hot start to WrestleMania Night 2. Montez Ford glided on a tope con hilo, Chad Gable did an Orihara moonsault, and just about everyone contributed to a cool RKO spot or two.
9. Street Profits vs. The Usos (RAW 4/11/22)
There was a consistency if not greatness to WWE’s tag divisions as they debated whether or not to unify the Tag Team Titles, and this match — in which The Street Profits and The Usos got 15 minutes on Monday Night RAW — was a highlight that shouldn’t be lost. Montez Ford does another huge tope con hilo here, lands on his feet in front of Randy Orton, and shimmies. Aggressively.
10. Steel Cage Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn (SmackDown 4/29/22)
By the time this stipulation arrived the juice was already gone from this brief post-Mania feud, but each guy has enough self-respect to not waste a good Steel Cage. This isn’t much more than 10 minutes but they kept it moving and opened SmackDown with something more fun than normal.
Honorable Mentions: NXT Title: Dolph Ziggler [c] vs. Bron Breakker (RAW 4/4/22), NXT Title: Bron Breakker [c] vs. Gunther (NXT 4/5/22), Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz (4/4/22), SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Usos [c] vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs (WrestleMania 38 4/3/22), Riddle vs. Jey Uso (SmackDown 4/22/22), RK-Bro, Cody Rhodes & Ezekiel vs. Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens & The Usos (RAW 4/5/22)
Fatal 5-Way Ladder Match – NXT North American Title: Carmelo Hayes [c] vs. Cameron Grimes vs. Solo Sikoa vs. Santos Escobar vs. Grayson Waller (NXT Stand & Deliver 4/2/22), Triple Threat Tag Match – NXT Tag Team Title: Imperium [c] vs. MSK vs. The Creed Brothers (NXT Stand & Deliver 4/2/22), WWE Women’s Tag Team Title: Sasha Banks & Naomi [c] vs. Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan (RAW 4/4/22), Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan (SmackDown 4/8/22), Roxanne Perez vs. Jacy Jayne (NXT 4/19/22)
NJPW Wrestling Dontaku 2022 (5/1/22): Tama Tonga Is Good; Bullet Club Is Back
New Japan’s Wrestling Dontaku 2022 came a few weeks after their Hyper Battle, a solid card headlined by El Desperado and Okada retaining championships and ending with Naito in line as Okada’s next challenge. Status quo: mostly maintained.
They were in the city of Fukuoka again for the annual event, though in 2022 they got fancy and returned to the Fukuoka Dome for the first time in 20 years. The Fukuoka PayPayDome (as it’s now called) is the other big dome stadium they’d semi-fill semi-regularly in the 90s, featuring clashes like Muta/Hogan, Muta/Inoki, Sabu/Kanemoto, and El Gigante vs. Tadao Yasuda. The last Dontaku in the Dome (and last one altogether until 2009) was in 2001, when Riki Choshu and the struggling up-and-coming Manabu Nakanishi took on Naoya goddamn Ogawa and Kazunari Murakami.
Less than 10k people seated in a Dome that used to fill 35K+ isn’t exactly a setup for a premium wrestling atmosphere, but between the wrestling effort in the ring and some plane ticket buying behind the scenes it would appear that New Japan’s status quo is being —– * Bullet Club music*
1. Shingo Takagi, Shiro Koshinaka & BUSHI vs. Zack Sabre Jr., Taichi & TAKA Michinoku
63-year-old Koshinaka was a last-minute replacement for the 68-year-old Tatsumi Fujinami, who in teaming with Shingo would’ve formed a Double Dragon dream team. As it ended up, the match was a fine bunch of fast-paced exchanges and leg work brought up or possibly down by the best parts being — outside of BUSHI’s cool new mask — Koshinaka’s charisma and contributions. Taichi’s pin on Shingo got a big gasp from the quiet crowd, too. **3/4
2. Hiromu Takahashi vs. YOH
YOH countered Hiormu’s apron sunset flip powerbomb with a hurricanrana just a few minutes into this match, then quickly followed up with a tope con hilo where the landing just looked like Hiromu powerbombed him anyways. Otherwise: they needed more heat to be any more ambitious, but this had plenty of neat counters and a couple choice lariats in just under 10 minutes. ***
3. Tanga Loa vs. Yujiro Takahashi
Tanga Loa emerges from the curtain and roars with excitement over his blue-and-white Vegeta-inspired wrestling outfit, which provides a distinct look if not an identity. He really does have a lot to be excited about besides new threads, entering the Dome for a special singles match amidst a babyface run that’s sort of connecting. The special singles match was with the “Tokyo Pimp” Yujiro Takahashi and had some standard issue run-ins by the House of Torture, but the crowd was had by a few near falls and SHO gave his life to a Loa powerbomb. **3/4
4. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Title: Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato [c] vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru & DOUKI
Taguchi and Wato – professionally known as “6 or 9” – captured the Jr. Tag Titles in February and bring a fresh vibe to the same ol same ol from the New Japan junior tag division, a unique babyface charm even before the springboard ass attacks and thong underwear. ***1/4
5. 3-Way Match – IWGP Tag Team Title, 3 Way Match: Great O-Khan & Jeff Cobb [c] vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens
Much like a 10-minute junior heavyweight tag team title match, the 10-minute 3-way heavyweight tag team match in New Japan needs something really special to distinguish itself beyond, you know – action or whatever. Goto’s Ushigiroshi on Cobb was impressive, Cobb takes a wild apron bump, and then… wait, what? Bad Luck Fale and Chase Owens won the IWGP Tag Team Titles. ***
6. NEVER Openweight Title: EVIL [c] vs. Tama Tonga
Much like his brother and tag team partner, Tama Tonga is over in Japan. EVIL can still get it done too if he and his friends are not tasked with doing a bunch of offense in a row — which, I recognize, is usually the situation. The eventual Togo run-in killed the vibe, which is also usually the situation but in this case there was a really great match building that eventually came back around to being pretty great.
Even with noise limitations the crowd was into Tonga’s struggle, whether in a Scorpion Deathlock or dealing with Dick Togo. Tonga’s pal and strange old babyface Jado put a stop to Togo, then stopped an EVIL super powerbomb with an impeccably timed kendo stick, which setup a series of counters and cutters and cutters and counters reminiscent of a top-tier G1 finish. ****
7. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title: El Desperado [c] vs. Taiji Ishimori
El Desperado’s fourth defense ended in a loss, though it remained as tremendously consistent as any of his other defenses that have carried the juniors division — so maybe that’s a win, anyways? After the customary quick exchanges, Ishimori got to the customary arm work which he has always been pretty good at. Then, after about 10 minutes wincing in pain for the world to see, Desperado rocked him the face with a punch. The selling prior and timing on the punch was great but it really is just that simple sometimes, honestly. ****
8. IWGP US Heavyweight Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Tomohiro Ishii
Tanahashi was originally scheduled to challenge SANADA for the U.S. Title, but SANADA was injured in the New Japan Cup and had to vacate the title. Enter Ishii, New Japan’s Sixth Man of the Year every year since he started. Tanahashi entered in stunning new black gear, then Ishii beat some ass right away to establish him as a worthy replacement if anyone was wondering. They got right to the strikes and attitude and relied mostly on that, which is good because these are men of a certain age now. I’m 34 and never worked even one G1 Climax — can’t even imagine the pains Ishii and Tana are in.
Each guy, two of the best seller’s of all time, looked more worn-out and exhausted as the match went on but came alive when slapping each other in the face or ignoring the physical pain caused by a Dragon Suplex. One of match’s best parts came towards the end (as they will): Ishii kicked out of a straitjacket-suplex, Tanahashi went to the top for the High Fly Flow, Ishii sprung up and charged, which left Tanahashi looking unconscious but still draped on top of the turnbuckle. They somehow amped up the intensity for the actual last couple minutes too, just refusing to let up until somebody had to. ****1/2
9. IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Kazuchika Okada [c] vs. Tetsuya Naito
Since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, crowds in Japan have had to clap instead of voicing their reactions. Has anybody heard about this?
Had a look back at an Okada/Naito Tokyo Dome match from a few years ago on a whim. Ouch.
Every conversation doesn’t need to begin calling out the atmosphere it’s happening in, but I guess here it’s worth saying: the crowd is too quiet and the match is too long.
Okada dropkicks life out of Naito off the top turnbuckle to the floor about fifteen minutes into the match, which feels like a turning point for the match though it’s also possible they could have just started with it. They stick to the script and deliver everything with confidence and precision, respect earned 25-minutes deep when they’re still artfully trading their signature moves… there’s a lot of wrestling not to mention things in general, you know?
When they catch fire here it gets nearly as cool as it used to be — and Okada pulls out an Inoki enzuigiri for the finish — but the front half just felt like, considering the circumstances, a little much. Regardless: Okada and Naito in a Dome. ****1/4
Happy Thoughts: Bigger crowd than normal, louder crowd than normal, and a stronger undercard than normal. Also: Bullet Club is back. Jay White, heel Juice Robinson, and those Good Brothers all returned to make statements for themselves as New Japan made one to their fans: we are trying. Really! We swear! 4.0 / 5.0
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 – Finals (5/4/22)
Takao Omori & Ryo Inoue vs. Kuma Arashi & TAJIRI
I’ve taken a long break from the controversial piece of media known as ‘’wrestling undercards’’. Now is the time to assess what I’ve been missing. Here we had an opening match that flipped the script by putting young boy Inoue in the role of Hot Tag Receiver. How am I supposed to understand this dynamic as a Casual Wrestling Fan!? Dug the purple-clad energy from this kid. **1/4
Izanagi & Black Menso-re vs. Hokuto Omori & Yusuke Kodama
Very happy to see that Kodama’s under-the-ring antics are now a permanent part of his lore. This man overflows with goblin energy. Menso-re and Hokuto recently both had straight bangers with junior champ Hikaru Sato, so they continued that streak of Good Wrestling by having more of it here. Completely acceptable effort from all four of these undercard warriors. **1/2
Hikaru Sato vs. Rising HAYATO
This was non-title, but HAYATO nearly got as much shine as he would’ve received in a regular ol’ title match. The kid keeps getting better at stringing his crowd-pleasing babyface offense and I believe that ONE DAY – he will achieve junior heavyweight supremacy. Today was not that day though, because Sato knows a thousand ways to break someone’s arm – including a wacked-out crucifix armbar THING to counter a Swanton bomb finish. Hikaru is on a run, baby. ***
Yoshitatsu vs. Ryuki Honda
Yoshitatsu has gone through many trials and tribulations during his career. He had to navigate the troubled waters of WWE superstardom. He attempted to hunt the Bullet Club. He was on the receiving end of a coup d’état by the Yoshitatsu Kingdom. Yet, all of these past experiences pale compared to the new challenge that lies ahead. People have figured out how to counter the Yoshitatsu Fantasy. This is big. Tatsu will have to dig deep into the book of Oudou Strong Style and master new tricks. I’m here for it. **1/2
Kento Miyahara, Atsuki Aoyagi & Takuya Nomura vs. T-Hawk, Shigehiro Irie & Issei Onitsuka
Boatloads of fun. Stronghearts 6-man tags are already a guaranteed good time, so when you add the Everybody Hates Kento trope – magic happens. Miyahara/Nomura is the comedy duo you never knew you wanted – two polar opposites putting the SLAP in slapstick and delivering major laughs throughout. Everyone else followed suit with energy (Onitsuka), flippery (Aoyagi) and punches to the face (T-Hawk). ***1/4
Suwama, Shotaro Ashino & Dan Tamura vs. Shuji Ishikawa, Kohei Sato & Ren Ayabe
More multiman wrasslin’ goodness from your AJPW pals. This might’ve been the peak of the Polite Suwama storyline, as the opening handshake was so brutally rejected by Big Shuj that the former Violent Giants spent half the match in a bar brawl around the ring. Other highlights: poor Dan getting straight-up destroyed by the Towers and Ren Ayabe being Very Tall. All Japan would be wise to sign this lad and get him on an All Beef Diet. ***
Jake Lee vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (Finals)
Can the AJPW main event scene survive without a constant influx of Kento Miyahara? According to this match, the answer is a resounding Yes. Jake and Yuma were tasked with delivering the first high-quality, Kento-less Champion Carnival final in 5 years and they did it. From bell to bell, both guys tapped into the best version of themselves and closed the tournament with what the children refer to as a ‘’banger’’.
The Dark Gentleman Jake Lee – is he good or is he bad? This question tore the very fabric of Puro Twitter throughout the Carnival. As a firm Jake Believer, even I was shook by some of his recent Method Acting techniques. Possibly inspired by his thrilling encounter with Hiroshi Tanahashi at the 50th Anniversary show, Lee decided to Tone It Down and blessed us with one of his best performances in recent memory.
He was heelish without being The Joker and came off as a total package main event wrestler: great striking, NUTRITIOUS submission work and high-drama big match offense (love a god damned DOCTORBOMB). Him cranking down the Heath Ledger-O-Meter means Aoyagi got most of the memorable character moments – a wise choice since this match was all about Yuma.
Mama Aoyagi’s Baby Boy™ has been on a slow rise for a while now. Often cast as a lovable underdog or Kento Sidekick, but never fully thrown into the spotlight as The Guy. His performance here was on another level and convinced me that there’s future champ value in this kid. Not only was he the perfect babyface counterpoint for Jake, but his epic comeback in the second half turned the match into a complete scorcher.
In classic All Japan fashion, Yuma spent the last years getting over a FREAKIN’ plethora of finishes (Endgame, Koki Kitahara Spin kick, Endgame-style Small package, THE FOOL) and it all paid off here. So much heat behind all of these when he started unloading on Jake. The reactions felt straight out of the pre-pandemic era. A perfect crescendo leading to the ultimate happy ending. Brilliant. ****1/2
Stardom Cinderella Tournament 2022 Finals (4/29/22): Koguma’s Big Night, I Guess
Less than a week after hosting a big two-night soiree at Sumo Hall, the Stardom gang kicked off April embarking on the annual Cinderella Tournament, a 32-woman single elimination challenge with a twist: all matches have 10-minute time limits and you can advance by throwing your opponent over the top rope. The possibilities… they varied. The last three matches of the 2022 edition were held in Ota City, alongside title defenses from Syuri and AZM.
0. 3-Way Battle: Mai Sakurai vs. Waka Tsukiyama vs. Ami Sorei
The 5-minute 3-Way Battle is just how Stardom wants to start their PPVs — let them do it. Waka teed off on Mai right at the bell, and over the next five minutes there was a triple chinlock and some kicks and a head-spike version of Liv Morgan’s finisher from Waka. It wasn’t much of a match, but compared to all the other 5-minute 3-way Battles it was one of the best. **
1. Future of Stardom Title: Hanan [c] vs. Hina
WWE gets all the press, but Stardom has way too many single-named wrestlers. Like 25% of a roster can reasonably have a single name at most; otherwise you’re just willingly confusing people. Hanan, full of youthful enthusiasm, gets right to taking an ass-kicking from Hina, full of such an aggression that sometimes she does a suplex where she DDT’s herself. The match is short, but worked at such a pace that it doesn’t seem so ridiculous when they are exhausted 45-seconds or 5-minutes in. Hanan made a comeback with a Fameaser to end an energetic if not well-executed defense. **1/2
2. Cinderella Tournament – Semi Final: Koguma vs. Hazuki
Koguma and Hazuki spent the early part of 2022 as Tag Team Champions and in the Cinderella got past no less than Giulia, Saya Iida, AZM and a Quarter Final Bye. The story of their semi-finals match was rooted mostly in Koguma trying to keep up, or at least I read it that way. She wrestles like somebody’s poor mom or friend dragged into the ring to defend their life, though she’ll also sometimes try to get everyone to chant for her in an unappealing way so everything is just more confusing.
A strangely impressive spot happened when Hazuki caught a Koguma crossbody in the ropes and dead-lifted her over the top rope onto the apron, and then they threw elbows before a series of cradles surprisingly sent Koguma to the finals. ***
3. Cinderella Tournament – Semi Final: Natsupoi vs. MIRAI
Saki Kashima, Unagi Sayaka, Mina Shirakawa and Starlight Kid all fell to this match’s participants: Natsupoi and MIRAI. Each is filled with a different type of babyface charisma, MIRAI relying on her strength and Natsupoi her will to go on. Natsupoi also pulled out a nasty bow-and-arrow stretch and incredible attack by way of a skin-the-cat, so she has that going for her too. After some jockeying for position, Natsupoi was trapped in a keylock she couldn’t escape. As with the last three matches, a fun sprint with some impressive moves. ***
4. Gauntlet Match: Tam Nakano, Mina Shirakawa & Unagi Sayaka vs. Giulia, Maika & Thekla vs. Utami Hayashishita, Saya Kamitani & Lady C vs. Momo Watanabe, Starlight Kid & Ruaka vs. Mayu Iwatani, Saya Iida & Momo Kohgo vs. Saki Kashima, Rina & Fukigen Death ★
Six teams of three having five four-minute matches, some of them ending by over-the-top rope elimination – pro wrestling is already a bit much, why make it more? This went Team Iwatani vs. Team Hayashishita, Team Oedo Tai vs. Team Iwatani, Oedo Tai vs. Team Kashima, Oedo Tai vs. Team Giulia, and finally Team Giulia vs. Team Nakano – which got an entire seven minutes and ended with Giulia getting suplexed on the apron and falling to the floor. There was enough talent – literally almost all the talent – to keep the wrestling neat-o and cool, but just too much everything else. **1/2
5. High Speed Title: AZM [c] vs. Mei Suruga
Mei Suruga, who had a couple matches on AEW Dark last year though spends most of her time in TJPW, enters with a big red cape to challenge AZM, who won the High Speed Title at the end of February and is carrying herself like a goddamn champion. So Mei opens the match doing armbars and dancing shtick before revealing that she, too, can go when it comes to the high-speed rope-running, jumping, and other little bits of wonder. She more or less kept up the shtick too, and at some point the ability to keep that going while still delivering on the match style became downright impressive. They even managed one of the more seamless ref-becomes-apart-of-the-action spots in years, which only worked because of the weird context they had built.
Mei continued being outrageous on the floor by grabbing a headset and mouthing off on commentary, though otherwise AZM started to bring the pain and back inside the ring Suruga’s wry smile had disappeared. The shtick prior was vibing so well that the match kind of lost a little momentum once they got serious, though a few excellent near falls and Mei desperately trying to escape AZM’s submission delivered an epic close to what in less than 15-minutes provided a better story than many matches that’ve gone 20+. Bravo! BRAVO!!! ****1/4
6. Cinderella Tournament – Final: MIRAI vs. Koguma
If I were a betting man, I would not have called these two as the final two out of thirty-two. It’s nothing against them; they just haven’t stood out on a roster that’s freaking brimming with talent. Stardom however just has a fearlessness of pushing their folks into a spot and letting them swim. They were generous enough to keep it to around 10 minutes, so it had less time than the standard Stardom semi-main even though it felt fresher and had more energy per minute. Koguma once again managed to keep up against the power of MIRAI, sometimes inexplicably so, withstanding a keylock and other maneuvers before her Cinderella story came to a close. ***1/2
7. World of Stardom Title: Syuri [c] vs. Himeka
Himeka took Syuri to a 10-minute draw in the Cinderella Tournament, and then they were here and about to double it. Four defenses into her reign, Syuri continues to toe the line between stoic and a little unreadable. The match stayed quality and competitive throughout, but never seemed to lock in until they were trading near falls at the end – and even some of those felt forced. Syuri freaked everybody out with a well-placed kick to the face en route to another successful title defense. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: Despite another outstanding High Speed Title match and a pretty consistent undercard, the two last matches — while good! — didn’t deliver enough to steer clear of this being a lower-end Stardom PPV. Koguma making it to the Cinderella Finals was a good bit, but did not make for a great show. 3.0 / 5.0
Stardom Fukuoka Goddess Festival (5/5/22): The Wonder of Saya Kamitani
Saya Kamitani is many things, and in the last year she became a main eventer. The Wonder of Stardom Champion defended her title against two Stardom greats at Sumo Hall a little over a month ago, and to kickoff May she was headlining a pay-per-view less than a week after a different pay-per-view. Business? It was either booming or in need of a boost.
The last pay-per-view ended with MIRAI winning the Cinderella Tournament and Syuri defending the World of Stardom Title, which was another Syuri main event that ticked all the boxes but was missing the thing that seemed to be missing from Syuri matches ever since she went from challenger to champion.
This pay-per-view — the Goddess Festival — took place in Fukuoka and Jushin Thunder Liger was on commentary for some of it.
1. Hina vs. Waka Tsukiyama
As in her match with Hanan a few days ago, Hina continued to specialize in punishing an opponent… crab hold here, nasty strike there. Waka continued to specialize in the fiery comeback… if not victory. **
2. Hanan, Saya Iida & Momo Kohgo vs. Saki Kashima, Ruaka & Rina
Hanan and friends represent the STARS stable while Kashima repped STARS a couple years ago, but now runs with those low-down dirty punks in Oedo Tai. Everyone’s entrances and wrestling attire drew a pretty stark contrast on face/heel, so not much work had to be done there – they just got to the good solid basic wrestling. ***
3. Tam Nakano, Unagi Sayaka & Mina Shirakawa vs. Utami Hayashishita, AZM & Lady C
The Stardom roster is an expansive one, and as they emphasize a newer cast the undercard occasionally embraces the spoils with a match like this that’s — while still pretty meaningless — absurdly stacked with good talent and good wrestling exchanges: AZM’s a sweet double foot stomp or kick to the head; Shirakawa’s killer backfist; even the giant swing and chop gimmick from Lady C. Like in the last match, a clear contrast of face/heel too: the trio of bright and bubbly idols versus the trio of gals cut from a different cloth, that cloth primarily being dark hair. ***1/2
4. SWA World Title: Thekla [c] vs. Mayu Iwatani
Really respect how Mayu Iwatani’s sash just says her name: Mayu Iwatani.
Thekla controlled the pace for a while here, first with her weirdness then an assortment of leglocks and kicks to the head plus a freakin’ spider superplex. Iwatani eventually fired back with a slap, then really fired back with a tombstone on the floor and crazy lady tope. She missed a moonsault, but escaped a Thekla rollup right before 3 and caught her with a kick, which led to a Dragon Suplex hold for 2 and finally that moonsualt for 3. Fun match, nice finish. ***1/2
5. Elimination Match: Syuri, Konami, MIRAI & Ami Sorei vs. Giulia, Himeka, Natsupoi & Mai Sakurai
Syuri split from Giulia and DDM pretty recently to run God’s Eye, which is a pretty badass name for a faction. This match… it lasted. DDM got the first elimination 10 minutes in when Sakurai threw Sorei over the top, then Konami submitted Natsupoi a few minutes later. Syuri and Himeka were both eliminated via over-the-top rule together, as were Giulia and Konami. By the time Sakurai and the Cinderella Winner MIRAI were killing it for the finish, 25-minutes had passed and anything that could or would have been was overwhelmed by what were mostly goofy eliminations. ***1/4
6. Goddesses of Stardom Title: Momo Watanabe & Starlight Kid [c] vs. Hazuki & Koguma
Days after squaring off in the Cinderella Tournament Semi-Finals, Hazuki and Koguma were reunited and looking to win back these Tag Team Titles. The Champs – Oedo Tai’s Momo Watanabe and Starlight Kid – are basically the ideal short-term heel tag team, like when Eddie and Jericho teamed up a few times on Nitro to mess around and sync their assholery.
After a quick early beatdown the match ended up being all-action for 20+ minutes with very few tags, though everything seemed to be working for only maybe half of it. Starlight Kid dropped a rapid-fire quebrada (cool) and smashed a chair over Hazuki’s head (not cool), then Hazuki went hard on the rally before pulling out the surprise win. Not great, but some good stuff. ***1/4
7. Wonder of Stardom Title: Saya Kamitani [c] vs. Maika
Saya Kamitani beat Maika in the Finals of last year’s Cinderella Tournament, and here they were in an even bigger match about to have a better match. At the time I thought Kamitani delivered (sorry for quoting myself): “main event quality matches mixed with the aura of modern day Sabu … the right amount of engaging limb work and epic moments down The Stretch, and every so often she will throw out a maneuver or bump that practically moves time and space.” Here she delivered that in a true main event context, which also served as a pretty stark contrast from Syuri’s Red Belt defenses – less serious, but more fun and just as credible.
After some opening holds, The Champ turned to ranas while Maika turned to suplexes and slams and eventually a violent powerbomb in the apron. I gasped! She followed it up with a straight-up vertical suplex on the apron. Back inside, Kamitani was able to keep up on an elbow exchange, kicked out after a superplex, hit a spin kick… but ran into a lariat, then nearly got killed with a sort of suplex off the top I won’t try to identify.
The move Saya Kamitani went with to turn the tide? A headbutt to the face. She keeps us guessing. Maika managed another lariat after, but that tide was turned: a ridiculous Phoenix Splash from Kamitani led to a successfully fifth defense. ****1/4
Happy Thoughts: Much like the Cinderella PPV in late-April, this felt like a low-end Stardom PPV but still featured a really great match (this time it was the main event). Combine the two shows together and you’d really be cooking. 3.25 / 5.0
WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2022 (5/8/22): This Is Insanity. Randy Orton… In A 6-Man Tag.
Moving on from the euphoria of a generally well-received WrestleMania weekend, WWE got themselves back to “normal” in pretty swift order with the exception of a few things. First, Cody Rhodes was here and he was getting a Push on RAW. Second, WWE was really into the prospect of unifying the Tag Team Titles — until a week or two before WrestleMania Backlash when they weren’t.
Third, though WrestleMania Backlash relied mostly on extending the WrestleMania feuds that didn’t end at WrestleMania, a bunch of new faces joined the party in addition to Rhodes: Asuka, Mustafa Ali, Ciampa, Gunther and Veer Mahaan all became a regular part of TV if not PPV, while Madcap Moss went babyface(ish) and Lacey Evans told the WWE Universe… a lot. So much. So much.
Also, Shinsuke Nakamura confronted Roman Reigns on the SmackDown after WrestleMania but got superkicked by an Uso and they didn’t address it until they had returned from a tour in the UK that didn’t air on TV. Like I said: normal. This was WrestleMania Backlash.
1. Cody Rhodes vs. Seth Rollins
With no match on the Kickoff Show, it was up to Kayla & Friends to fill more time and Cody & Seth to properly open up this professional wrestling card. The inherent big feel that came with WrestleMania and Cody’s return was swapped with the inherent exciting feel of a WWE PPV opener, and this ended up a more focused, surprising, and just better wrestling match than their first one – which was already pretty good, even if both occasionally felt like subpar tributes to Cena or Triple H’s efforts after 2015. Special shoutout to Rollins’ early counter of the Beautiful Disaster too: a push! ***3/4
2. Bobby Lashley vs. Omos w/ MVP
WWE ring ropes definitely got heavier over the years, but watching Omos and Lashley blatantly cooperate to do the old giant-stuck-in-the-ropes spot really said a lot about the whole Omos experiment. Mainly: it stinks! After taking a bump on a Lashley spinebuster and looking like he never wanted to wrestle again, Omos persevered and won with MVP’s help. *
3. Damian Priest Banned from Ringside: AJ Styles vs. Edge
Just like the opener, a rematch that was better (and shorter!) than what they did at WrestleMania. AJ Styles hit a gorgeous quebrada and koppou kick, and countered the spear late in the match with a step-up knee – he throws really good knees actually and should use them more. Edge, for his part, sported really nice bright purple tights. About 15 minutes into the match, Damian Priest (banned at ringside) walked down the entrance ramp to… not ringside and was attacked by Finn Balor, which setup a masked character helping Edge choke out AJ. That masked character? Rhea Ripley. In black. ***1/4
4. I Quit Match – SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Ronda Rousey
After a disappointing WrestleMania match, Charlotte and Ronda threw it back to the days of the WWE women’s division when sometimes a couple ladies would beat the shit out of each other. In between the brawling they packed this with cool spots and kept an unbelievable pace, like Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah the Butcher if they had God-tier cardio.
Charlotte dropped Rousey on her head with a half-nelson suplex pretty early which really set a tone. They started bashing each other with kendo sticks, too, and on the entrance ramp, Charlotte yelled “oh shit” before Ronda monkey flipped her to steal her stick, then posed and continued beating on her with both sticks.
What stood out most about this (beyond the visceral goddamn violence) was their approach to the “I Quit” stipulation, which was rooted less in submissions or goofy spot setups and more just them trying to kill each other and assuming the other would say it was over.
Charlotte grabbed a camera on the floor and just launched it at Ronda, then tried to escape through the crowd as Ronda threw body blows. During the crowd brawl Charlotte pulled out a spot from her Falls Count Anywhere match with Sasha Banks, a choke assisted by the stair railing – that’s when you know it’s special.
Charlotte dropped Ronda with a nasty powerbomb on the guardrail, but got caught in an upside-down cross armbreaker on the corner post which felt like a completely reasonable finish. When Ronda decided Charlotte wasn’t going to quit, she let go and they both came down which 1) felt really dangerous and reckless and 2) continued the whole vibe of this being pretty freakin’ cool.
The actual finish continued that vibe too, as Charlotte condescendingly wished Rousey a “Happy Mother’s Day” and things didn’t go great for her from there. ****1/4
5. Madcap Moss vs. Happy Corbin
How to follow the I Quit Match? Madcap and Happy put on their stupid costumes and took some bumps before a sunset flip out of nowhere got 3. Just like a WWF house show in the 80s. *3/4
6. Drew McIntyre & RK-Bro vs. Roman Reigns & The Usos w/ Paul Heyman
Very fun 6-man tag that got pretty incredible off a few near falls towards the end, and would’ve been even better if Riddle was a better or more sympathetic face-in-peril. It couldn’t help but feel like something thrown together to pass the time, but then again: what is professional wrestling, anyways? Namaste. ****
Happy Thoughts: A few great wrestling matches, particularly that I Quit Match, highlighted this solid wrestling card delivered within a cold and distant sports entertainment context. 3.5 / 5.0