Happy Wrestling Land, The Newsletter: Vol. 38
The "Most Stupendous Two-Day Newsletter of All-Time Part 2" Edition
Hi!
This newsletter might begin with all sorts of thoughts and feelings on a WrestleMania that happened a month ago, but the REAL lede is that Parker Klyn has invaded Happy Wrestling Land with a LIVE review of Warrior Wrestling 21.
Plus, a Windy City Riot and Captain Lou continues that Champion Carnival love…
WrestleMania 38 Night 1 (4/2/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
WrestleMania 38 Night 2 (4/3/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
Parks and Recs: Warrior Wrestling 21 (4/23/22) - Parker K
NJPW Windy City Riot (4/16/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 Day 6 (4/23/22) - Captain Lou
AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 Day 7 (4/24/22) - Captain Lou
WrestleMania 38 Night 1 (4/2/22): My Father Said, When I Was Younger… STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
WrestleMania: why is this still happening, and why do I still watch it?
The comforting memories of Dad howling with laughter at Steve Austin dousing Vince McMahon with beer as Jim Ross went catatonic or The Rock bragging about his “$10,000 suit” probably have something to do with it, the type of sentiment probably not discussed enough when trying to determine whether a match or show was “great” or not.
Something had to keep seizing my attention though, enough to keep following long after Stone Cold kept to an in-ring retirement in 2003 and The Rock was running a Hollywood empire that hadn’t returned WWE’s calls since COVID. Others had appeared in the last two decades in their place — not to mention a host of easy-to-access alternative products — but not since John Cena did anyone seem to exude a star power that could carry a build to WrestleMania without just relying on the ideas of a past WrestleMania.
In fact it had been at least a decade since it didn’t feel like WWE was just cynically powering through the “Road to WrestleMania,” though that did not stop them from being more profitable than ever or expanding WrestleMania another night. The weekly TV was as bad as ever, yet I still kept up and saw a remarkably decent job done this year — or even just job done — at weaving things together and making them seem important, even if it had been a while since many things felt that way.
Former World Champions Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens wrestling multiple matches to earn “spots” at WrestleMania against a past star of WrestleMania was the kind of TV wrestling that may have once killed off a territory (or career), but by the time WrestleMania came around there was an anticipation for both their matches that enforced how little the weekly TV now mattered, though also how little that may even have mattered itself.
As WWE built towards a “fight” between Owens and Austin for WrestleMania, the fan in me got excited for Stone Cold having one last run while the cynic who now knew terms like “licensing” and “TV executive” continued to temper expectation. Those expectations could not be thwarted if there were none, I thought to myself, pointing to my temple like the guy in the meme created in 2016 — the year of that really crappy Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar Street Fight that taught another generation of fan to not get too excited.
WrestleMania: why is this still happening, and why do I still watch it? Somewhere between Saturday’s Kickoff Show and the drive home from a friend’s house on Sunday, whether by content on the show or just experience from the fandom and friendship that brought me here, I guess I was once again reminded. But we’ll get there on Sunday.
WrestleMania Saturday began with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders dancing to AC/DC.
1. SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Usos [c] vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs
The return of fans to WWE shows last Summer was a great boon for the WWE viewing experience, and before the Thunderdome Jimmy and Jey Uso used to pop them with this sort of thing all the time: take a short runtime (7 minutes), cut through the noise, and pack in so much that it feels longer and the people are out of their seats for the finish anyways. Individually it may not be incredible but at some point the consistency became remarkable.
They got right to the point here, and considering the two nights of wrestling ahead that’s a blessing: Nakamura (sporting intoxicating orange-and-yellow gear) throws a kick at the bell, gets caught and takes a quick beating, makes a comeback leading to a run for Boogs, then there’s a couple strategically placed counters and near falls and 1-2-3. Before Boogs’ leg injury and even the minute after it, a very good match. ***1/4
2. Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin w/ Madcap Moss
Drew McIntyre went from the main event of WrestleMania 36 to the opener of WrestleMania 37 to the second match of WrestleMania 38, which depending on how you read it is a slow ascent back up the card or a continuous condemnation of what he’s done previously.
This was — especially compared to the directness of the last match — a drag. Each guy wasted some time on offense, Corbin and Moss somehow both missed Drew on a dive to the floor, and by the time they got to the match’s big spot – Drew being the first guy to kick out of End of Days – it didn’t feel like such a big deal. Otherwise, not bad! **1/2
3. Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz & Logan Paul
It might not be a good thing that wrestling has been de-constructed so much to the point that Logan Paul can walk into WrestleMania and perform like a top-tier heel, but also: maybe it is?
Having Rey Mysterio and The Miz, two of wrestling’s most reliable face and heels in any scenario, definitely helped… but Logan Paul was the revelation: he’s tall, jacked, exudes dipshit, and hit his spots with enough timing to where I’m pretty sure he was actively working at this. Eddie Guerrero troll moves gotten overused pretty quickly, but Logan Paul doing Eddie Guerrero trolls against the Mysterio Family in their Los Gringos Locos tribute gear at WrestleMania? I don’t know if Eddie would approve, but that’s heel. ***3/4
4. RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Bianca Belair
A lot of what makes the individual WWE match good tends to be the result of forces outside of the ring, a number of things whether it be “story” or “push” that make people “give a shit” and set a “tone” prior to the bell even ringing. It’s frustrating, then, that as WWE’s pool of capable in-ring talent has grown, WWE’s efforts inside the ring continued to be restricted while their efforts outside of the ring continued to be incompetent.
That’s for a discussion elsewhere though, because even ignoring the still bad decision to have Becky Lynch return at SummerSlam and beat Bianca Belair in 30 seconds, this match was one of those cases where the forces both in and out of the ring hit and created something a really great wrestling match.
Lynch entered first, holding her championship high as she revealed a new haircut (bangs!) and an entrance costume out of the closet of the Evil Queen from Snow White. Belair followed, played to the ring by an actual marching band and celebrating the moment in freakin’ Minnie Mouse ears. As the ring introductions were made, both were focused — Belair ready to beat some ass, Lynch at the audacity.
Stripped of any subtext this is a good match, but the story they told wasn’t just a one-on-one match — this is a long game. After teasing a finish similar to SummerSlam, Becky gained control early on. All her offense was delivered with an extra anger and nastiness, officially transforming her into the heel wrestler that seemed impossible nine months ago (if her entrance gear didn’t already). It made it easy to rally behind Belair, whose comeback was highlighted by a few incredible spots like the second-rope 450 splash and a Molly-Go-Round that connected.
The last five minutes delivered a special sort of frantic-ness, a wild series of moves and cradles that just kept building before Becky hit a Rock Bottom on the stairs that kept Belair out until the 19-count. Becky’s response at this point was to just repeatedly punch at Belair in frustration, before a well-timed backflip and KO-D caused the crowd to lose their minds. Becky is great in big matches and this was her best one since the return, while if Belair keeps this up they’ll be calling her Mrs. WrestleMania. ****1/2
5. Seth Rollins vs. Cody Rhodes
On April 2nd, 2022, Cody Rhodes returned to WWE after a six-year absence that resulted in a new wrestling company and character ready-made for WWE. The former is more important in the grand scheme of things, but on this night the latter felt like such an incredibly big deal.
This was the very good but not great match that both Rollins and Rhodes are very good at doing, much better than Edge/AJ the following night as far as a Triple H tribute match that goes 20+ and occasionally does have some moments but is too indulgent to have any staying power. Watch it for the excitement of the moment, then move on and hopefully enjoy all the other shenanigans these two will get into monthly. ***3/4
6. SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Ronda Rousey
Combatting the forces that assisted in making Lynch/Belair really great, any spectacle or aura that existed in Flair and Rousey’s awesome Survivor Series match a few years ago felt long gone by the time they locked up at WrestleMania. Maybe it was the length of the show or maybe it was length of time it had been since both competitors had felt present or had even been around at all. It may have passed for a decent match in a different place on a different show, but here it just felt like they were killing time until it came time to trade ankle locks and figure-fours. Then Charlotte speared the referee and won with a big boot. ***
7. No Holds Barred: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens
They delivered. The sons of bitches delivered.
Back in Stone Cold’s day it was a pretty simple deal: the bad guys got comeuppance by any means necessary. When Stone Cold became the bad guy his run came to an end, and two decades later a bad guy was WWE’s top wrestler and they’d almost fully transitioned to a presentation where the good guys were everyone on the roster and the bad guys were just the bastards in charge. I’m not sure there were many times since retirement that Stone Cold, stubborn as he was smart, could’ve have been convinced he and WWE could actually deliver anyways. Like — he wasn’t going to have his last match be a cash grab in Saudi Arabia or anything. Or wouldn’t tease coming out of retirement only to do a talk show segment. …Right?
Kevin Owens was watching Stone Cold’s prime as a fan during the same time I was, then began his career just as Stone Cold’s was winding down. By the time he became a regular in WWE it seemed like he — like too many wrestlers cycled in and out — had peaked in his debut, where he confronted then pinned no less than John Cena. The next month he lost to John Cena, and preceded to have the up-and-down career most WWE guys have now. When he won the Universal Title, it was overshadowed by a Triple H angle not followed up on. When he and Chris Jericho pulled off one of WWE’s all-time great angles, their grudge match was relegated to a bad spot at WrestleMania. The rumor late last year was that he might leave for AEW, and though he had provided plenty of fun in WWE there was still this inexplicable gaping question of what Kevin Owens could have really accomplished there.
As Stone Cold Steve Austin emerged from the sounds of shattered glass the 70k+ were in the palm of his hand and he hit on whatever intangible it was that delivered what they wanted. Even before it was clear this would be anything other than “The KO Show with Stone Cold Steve Austin,” Austin was in prime condition: glancing at the camera, slowly sitting down, shifting in his chair. The crowd was hoping for it, his body language teased it, and eventually the bell rung for an actual match.
They really seriously had a wrestling match, and I can understand why they didn’t want to promote it as an actual match but it really wasn’t much different from much of Austin’s work after 1997 anyways. They brawled through the crowd, which included Austin tempting fate and taking a suplex on the concrete floor — a real “holy shit” moment long past the time a “holy shit” chant felt like a proper thing to do. Owens bumped like he was working Stone Cold in the main event of Mania or something, flipping and flopping all over to make up for any perceived lack of mobility on Austin’s part.
The spot with Austin taking an unconscious Owens for a ride on his RV up the ramp was classic Stone Cold too, genuine fun mixed in with the ass-kicking. It felt like the beats of a song I hadn’t heard in a long time were playing again, and those beats hit, maaaan.
If you’re going to rely too much on nostalgia, then deliver the nostalgia! They did, and they did it over a weekend wrestling fans had to watch Triple H symbolically retire and The Undertaker deliver a TED Talk. Winning the Royal Rumble then WWE Title at WrestleMania used to be the pinnacle of what one could accomplish in WWE. It was simple. Stone Cold did it himself, a couple times actually. Is having a surprise main event of WrestleMania crowd brawl that pulls the retired Stone Cold Steve Austin back into the ring the pinnacle of what Kevin Owens can now accomplish in WWE? Yeah, I think so. ****
Happy Thoughts: With the exception of the boring patches in McIntyre/Corbin and Flair/Rousey, there were no misses here. And Stone Cold Steve Austin finally came back and wrestled. Over-delivered, even. After watching 4+ hours of WrestleMania on a Saturday night, much of it with a smile on my face based on wisecracking texts and either lowered or met expectations, I drove to a friend’s house the night after with a confused excitement over watching 4+ more. To be continued… 4.5 / 5.0
WWE WrestleMania 38 Night 2 (4/3/22): Why Is This Still Happening, And Why Do I Still Watch It?
WrestleMania: why is this still happening, and why do I still watch it?
The first part is easy, as WrestleMania remains wildly profitable and commands great amounts of interest both real and on speculation. Life at its’ core might be about two things: shit talk and reflexes. Succeeding in WWE requires so much of both.
But why do I still watch it?
As WrestleMania 38 approached I’d been asking myself that more and more, all as concepts like family and a newfound interest in basketball continued to take up the time where there used to be so much wrestling. I asked myself it a couple weeks after the show as I sat with my 4-year-old watching rain through a window, a moment of comfort and clarity I wouldn’t necessarily recommend to everyone… but if you can find yourself in a similar scenario, it might be as “recommendable” as anything there it is.
It was certainly preferable to all the visits recently to grandma in the hospital, which — while cherished — were so difficult. It was the last time we were with her at her own home when I had NBA All-Star Weekend coverage on and she observed to my wife, “You know he got into that for Owen.” I hadn’t even realized.
I like complexity as much as the next guy, but the clarity or distraction WWE and wrestling in general once provided had seemed to be disappearing. The 2-hour – 2-hour! – Kickoff Shows that preceded both – both! – nights seemed to encapsulate so much that had become frustrating about this. Put aside the focus on “sports entertainment” over “pro wrestling,” they relied too much on unprepared celebrity, filibustered the explanation of their uninteresting plot lines, and continued the inexplicable trend of continuing these 2-hour Kickoff Shows. There were better distractions.
But WrestleMania Saturday helped sort it out a little. And towards the end of WrestleMania Sunday, which I irresponsibly streamed the last hour via Peacock as I drove home from a friend’s, it was answered again. The Pat McAfee/Austin Theory match that became a Pat McAfee/Vince McMahon match was winding down, and so was my gas tank. So I pulled over, and much as I was doing the night before I beamed from ear to ear while texting a friend through the appearance of Stone Cold Steve Austin and McMahon’s subsequent fucked-up Stone Cold Stunner.
WrestleMania: why is this still happening, and why do I still watch it?
I could reference my own attempt at explaining it written here 3 years ago, or I could use a quote from a New Yorker interview with The Mountain Goats’ John Darnielle to try and explain, maybe sound like a modern intellectual or something:
“…in the Internet age, people want to annotate things, to say “this means this, this means this” … With my stuff, I always want it to reach a nexus of, Can you sit with something that doesn’t resolve, and be happy there? Or not even be happy, but be present. That’s what I like, in art.”
It’s hard to be present when everyone’s arguing the straw man so much that I just made one myself. Alas, this provides a clarity that can only be obtained by whatever the fuck this is. In the glut of… all of it, the distraction of simplicity that it provides is appreciated. Family and basketball is cool, and so is this: the feelings of anticipation and validation, friendship and laughter. It’s unique to me, and probably many of you reading it. It makes me sad sometimes, and sometimes it makes me happy. I’ve had to read the musings of a whole lot of dicks, but I’ve also met some of my best friends.
I began viewing WrestleMania 38 in the context of possibly not watching WWE. But I ended WrestleMania 38 – all of it – tearfully thinking back to why it may always have a hold of me. Am I… am I Cody Rhodes?
WrestleMania Sunday, as did WrestleMania Saturday, took place at AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas.
1. Triple Threat Tag Match – RAW Tag Team Title: RK-Bro [c] vs. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy
Unlike last night’s opener for the Tag Team Titles, this took some time to get moving. Some might call that build-up, but it was starting to feel like killing time. Then, the pace picked up and all the boys went crazy: Montez Ford glided with a tope con hilo, as did Chad Gable on an Orihara moonsault. Just about everyone contributed to a cool RKO spot or two as well. Quality opener, hot match, and Chad Gable absolutely crushed the post-match promo with Gable Steveson. ***1/2
2. Bobby Lashley vs. Omos
This ran six-and-a-half minutes but still felt too long, with a couple rough bumps that would’ve hurt the match’s flow if there was one. Bobby’s spear-to-the-back was nice. *
3. Anything Goes Match: Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville
“I can’t believe Knoxville took an Exploder through a table.” That was the first note I typed in my phone about this match, before I put down my phone and embraced the greatness alongside friends. Johnny Knoxville and (some of) the cast of Jackass went to WrestleMania and had a very fun match, a match that delivered on the fun and silly (and Big Hand!) quota but also — dare I say — pretty brilliantly built-up to its’ big finish, which was based around a series of mousetrap spots. The Wee Man bodyslam was, also — of course — incredible.
The wrestling fan roots for wrestlers when they’re good, yeah — but almost everybody is pretty good now. The real connection begins with the wrestlers who you know will, if they do “make it through” to a position where they can call their shots and try to live their dreams, make it so you eventually see something awesome or weird like last night’s Stone Cold match or this Jackass match along the way. ****
4. Fatal 4-Way Match – WWE Women’s Tag Team Title: Carmella & Queen Zelina [c] vs. Sasha Banks & Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan vs. Natalya & Shayna Baszler
Without much expectation, this might have actually surpassed expectation. Like the opener, it kept moving. Carmella’s hurricanrana followed by Zelina’s moonsault were big spots from wrestlers who do not normally work big, while Sasha and Naomi came up with a whole tag team finisher. **1/2
5. AJ Styles vs. Edge
Ugh.
This was… * fidgets in chair* fine.
It was the longest match of either night, the type of 20+ minute Dream Match that stood out more and didn’t feel like such a drag when shows weren’t eight hours long. I don’t know if a misfire on pyro hindered Styles’ performance or not, but his best work at WrestleMania will continue to be with Shane McMahon. ***
6. Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods vs. Sheamus & Ridge Holland w/ Butch
This match got cut the night before, and unfortunately was only given 90-seconds on this one. Most of that was spent with Kofi and Woods looking like chumps. BUTCH! *
7. Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory
8. Pat McAfee vs. Mr. McMahon
This was the spectacle match WWE does so well, rewarding McAfee’s commitment to the job (and history as a professional athlete) by allowing him to play the lead role in this ultimate fanboy wrestling match. There’s dream matches and then there’s this, a literal dream of a match.
It began with Mr. McMahon entering to the usual mixed chorus of boos and admiration before introducing his little shit protege, Austin Theory— a clean-shaven young stooge for the new millieum. Then the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders danced and Pat McAfee emerged to the sounds of the White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army,” a song released when I was a sophomore in high school and deep into learning about all the wrestling that existed beyond WWE.
It provided such a good set piece, amplified by Theory’s quality gloating and McMahon’s knowing grin during the early heat, a visual representation of what an entire wrestling fandom feels like it’s up against all the time. This set the table for McAfee’s awesome rally and comeback, complete with Michael Cole putting in an all-time performance on commentary rooting for his friend — “Cover him, Pat!”
The McAfee/Theory part of this wasn’t a workrate classic, but it was way better than Edge vs. AJ and a lot more wrestling available.
After the bell, 76-year-old Vince McMahon started looking angry. Scrappy. He took his suit jacket off, revealing the classic skin-tight black shirt — albeit with more lumpy wrinkles than peaks, like McMahon had reached his Tenryu stage. Cole continued his tremendous commentary — “…Why’s there a referee in the ring?” — and the eventual finish was a proper buzzkill to setup the actual finish.
Glass breaks.
Stone Cold Steve Austin, fresh off a return match that exceeded expectation, entered the ring and gave McMahon a Stone Cold Stunner (kind of). Then McAfee got a Stunner too, concluding what felt like in the moment a flawless WrestleMania angle and possible finale of the entire Austin/McMahon saga. A series of lame endings setup the ultimate fan-friendly finish, one that could’ve been easy to predict but stayed satisfying anyways. That’s kind of WWE’s whole thing, but it doesn’t happen often enough. ***1/2
9. Winner Takes All – WWE Title & WWE Universal Title: Brock Lesnar [c] vs. Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman
To quote myself when I was thinking about the Royal Rumble back in January and feeling a certain sort of way: “I’m so fucking sick of Brock Lesnar.”
On the other side of fan-friendly was this battle of heavyweights, which just keeps happening despite nobody ever publicly admitting they enjoy it. It “seems” like a big match and this year was actually arguably the year WWE got the build of their match right — as far as assigning correct roles and making it seem like a big kickass grudge match fight — but I’ve seen this as a singles match four times now and it just keeps diminishing in quality, probably because they peaked the first time. ***
Happy Thoughts: This felt like the WrestleMania that Vince McMahon is always saying WrestleMania actually is. If you had never seen pro wrestling in your life, these two nights of it made it seem like it’s the most fun thing ever… and for these couple nights, it kind of was. 4.0 / 5.0
Parks and Recs: Warrior Wrestling 21 (4/23/22)
I’m invading Happy Wrestling Land, and there’s nothing they can do about it.
1) Sam Adonis (c) vs. Aramis for the Warrior Wrestling Lucha Championship
Aramis is the best luchador you don’t know about. Only 23 years old, he’s already as creative and consistent as they come, reminiscent of a high-end Dragon Gate trainee. Lucha libre fans recognize someone like Laredo Kid as eternally underrated; Aramis seems to be on that track. He matched up here against an always-solid base in Adonis, who is athletically limited but makes up for it in character work. (He’s a babyface here despite being a despised heel in AAA.) While the match threatened to be a rudimentary shine-heat-comeback encounter, Aramis’s closing flurry of offense brought it up a notch and had the crowd wanting a title change. ***1/4
2) Karl Fredericks vs. Clark Connors
The debut match for the brand-new Warrior Wrestling-LA Dojo partnership, everyone’s most anticipated team-up in wrestling right now. Fredericks and Connors have worked and trained together forever now, and it showed in their interactions here. This was a slugfest, the type of match you only see between people who know each other well. Dozens of stiff kicks, forearms, and slaps made it purely enjoyable, whereas Connors’ fire –– for my money, he’s got the greater potential of the two –– upped the intensity. ***1/2
3) Alex Zayne vs. Storm Grayson (w/ Frank The Clown)
You might not know this, but Warrior Wrestling actually shoots *angles.* Before this match, Frank The Clown, who’s performing a go-away heat basic megalomaniac character, held a press conference where he announced Storm Grayson and Shazza McKenzie as the initial members of his new stable. This led to Grayson’s match with Zayne, which was the most by-the-numbers heat-filled match you’ll see all year.
Zayne would out-wrestle Grayson and tease a comeback, but interference or distractions from Frank would cut him off. Brief moments of Zayne acrobatics got the crowd into it, but the boring layout and flat finish made me wish I was watching the replay so I could fast-forward. Afterward, Calvin Tankman came out and laid out Zayne to join Frank’s stable. *1/2
4) SW3RVE vs. Adam Brooks
One could say this about any number of talents, but it’s truly baffling that WWE saw nothing in Shane Strickland. He came out for this match and it was like Jon Moxley or Eddie Kingston was there; he felt like a true superstar. Brooks, meanwhile, got practically no reaction. What, you guys didn’t watch his undeniable classics with Will Ospreay in 2018? This was Brooks’ first USA tour since before the pandemic, so I guess it’s understandable.
Anyway, these two gave us exactly what I want out of an indie midcard match: crowd-pleasing spots, star power, and actual thought put into the match layout. Swerve –– get this –– *targeted Brooks’ arm,* and Brooks held up his end of the bargain by struggling to lay in strikes with said arm! The arm was the match’s entire focus, but there was so much more to sink your teeth into here, like Brooks’ surprisingly fiery comebacks and the constant, incessant chants of “Whose house? Swerve’s house!” My section completely ate up Swerve’s running thrust kick and arm-break spot. Swerve is must-see, and Brooks more than earned a return invite to Warrior Wrestling. ***3/4
5) Dante Martin & Dante Leon vs. Brian Cage & KC Navarro
I groaned when Leon was announced as the injured Darius Martin’s replacement. Dude’s got the most amateurish jobber look out there, and I’ve only ever really seen him in those garbage GCW scrambles where everyone just hits repeated dives until someone decides to end it. Thankfully, he held up his end of the bargain here with three stellar talents.
The Cage/Navarro team is so good that I’m disappointed it’s over. Muscle-bound Cage tagging with undeniably talented but frankly annoying Navarro? It’s like Jeri-Show updated for the indies in 2022. Martin did the least out of anyone here, which seems to be a recent refrain in his indie appearances, but he still landed his customary dives. After a long bout of tag team domination on Leon, the babyface team’s comeback led to a surprisingly engaging back-and-forth sequence at the finish. If Darius had been involved, this could’ve been one of the better indie tag matches of the year. ***1/2
6) Athena vs. Shazza McKenzie (w/ Frank The Clown) vs. Skye Blue for the Warrior Wrestling Women’s Championship
Thunder Rosa vacated this championship in a promo before the match, as she’s obviously the AEW Women’s Champion and as such can’t be expected to consistently appear for Warrior. She’s so likable.
It’s strange to say that a match I’d say was the “second-worst” on the show blew me away, but this one did. A match involving McKenzie and Blue –- two limited wrestlers –– and the same Frank The Clown interference as earlier should have been a disaster. But (1) this match had a much more engaging and creative plan than before, and (2) Athena is incredible.
Most of the match was McKenzie and Blue wrestling around in the ring as Athena tried to escape Frank’s clutches; that part wasn’t all that good. But when Athena finally did break free to run wild on everyone, this match began to completely surpass expectations. Eyeroll-inducing “American Joshi” nickname aside, Athena was on another level compared to the other two women in the match. Impactful strikes, fast-paced action, and a picture-perfect Eclipse convinced me that AEW needs to sign her right away. She’d step in and immediately be one of the best in the division, and I’m glad she’s champion, meaning I get to see her at the next Warrior show. ***
7) Will Ospreay (c) vs. Blake Christian for the Warrior Wrestling Championship
Will Ospreay is, for my money, the best wrestler in the world. Blake Christian, meanwhile, is a blank canvas, all athleticism and speed and nothing else. I knew this match would probably be quite good, as Ospreay was involved, but Christian, who I’ve seen a lot of, just doesn’t do much of anything for me. He’s just a guy.
Well, they ended up having the American indie match of the year. Heavyweight Ospreay has translated his one-of-a-kind athleticism into a match structure that makes him come across as such a ruthless killer, especially against much smaller opponents like Christian. He destroyed Christian for the first two thirds of the match, and the audience was eating it up like he was Vader or Goldberg killing some jobber.
Then the closing stretch happened, and this match was elevated from merely entertaining to compelling to must-see. Listing out everything they did would double the length of my review, but my favorite spots included Ospreay defying gravity to backflip out of Christian’s DDT finish into a nasty Liger Bomb and then Christian avoiding the Hidden Blade, taking a poisonrana, and popping up to nail a Hidden Blade of his own for a remarkably close near fall that nobody in their right mind should’ve bit on, considering the participants.
The crowd was unglued by the finish; they had been hot all night, but a rather rowdy chant-heavy group was reduced to “OHHH!”s and “AHHHH!”s at the end. There was a group of four youngsters who I assume were Notre Dame students who were just out of their minds, all hair-clutching neck-tensing frenzy. Forgetting yourself and just reacting to what’s in front of you, well, to me, that’s the sign of a great match. That’s exactly what this was. ****1/2
After the match, Ospreay called out Davey Richards, which is one of those dream matches nobody’s ever thought of but makes perfect sense in hindsight. Can’t wait!
NJPW Windy City Riot (4/16/22): Mox Keeps It Moving; Suzuki Still Rules
The last shows I caught from New Japan’s U.S. branch were the 2020 Super J Cup and Moxley vs. KENTA from last February, both disappointments held during a pandemic with no crowd. By April, with fans back in attendance and a partnership with AEW soon to be announced, business was picking up. The U.S.-based crew and some guests from Japan headed to an old stop of ECW, the Odeum Expo Center in Villa Park, IL.
1. Karl Fredericks, Clark Connors & Yuya Uemura vs. QT Marshall, Nick Comoroto & Aaron Solow
Solid opener. Comoroto immediately stands as a guy who could thrive in Japan, though Fredericks and Connors opposite him have been ready since the start of COVID too. Comoroto’s one-handed press, Frederick’s chops, and Connors’ spear could make a lot of Japanese people very happy in-person is all I am saying. ***
2. Fred Rosser, Ren Narita, Alex Coughlin, Josh Alexander & Chris Dickinson vs. JR Kratos, Royce Isaacs, Jorel Nelson, Black Tiger & Danny Limelight
Here were way too many wrestlers for anything to really stand out, though the increasing seriousness with which the former Darren Young (Rosser) approaches his matches continues to impress and Narita shows a fire that should serve him well in This Business. The Japanese commentary team losing their minds over JR Kratos’ huge tope is almost worth checking out on its own too. **
3. STRONG Openweight Title: Tom Lawlor [c] vs. Yuji Nagata
Tom Lawlor joined his buddies in attacking Rosser after the match, which brought out Nagata to the sounds of ladies screaming like Ricky Morton or Kerry Von Erich just showed up. It was a good setup for a good match; Nagata was over and credible with the crowd which provided a great backdrop for a lot of good submission work that Nagata sold the shit out of. This was my first or second time seeing Lawlor and he may have a little indie grit to break out of but in defending a championship against Yuji freaking Nagata he delivered the feel of a battle from bell-to-bell. ***3/4
4. Great-O-Khan, Jeff Cobb, Aaron Henare, Kyle Fletcher, Mark Davis & TJP vs. Scott Norton, Karl Anderson, Doc Gallows, Hikuleo, El Phantasmo & Chris Bey
The United Empire vs. 2022 Bullet Club isn’t a very exciting premise in any country, but New Japan USA was able to pull 60-year-old Scott Norton for this particular match which was a fun accent for some solid exchanges out of Aussie Open, ELP, and Impact’s Chris Bey. Cobb looked good too — even when Vintage Norton no-sold a suplex from him — and O-Khan seemed to find his first stop in the United States feedback loop positively delicious. ***
5. Chicago Street Fight: Juice Robinson, David Finlay & Brody King vs. JONAH, Shane Haste & Bad Dude Tito
I am not familiar with what beef FinJuice had with Shane Haste and Bad Dude Tito that led to a Street Fight, but everybody put on their jeans and t-shirts and went… long. They traveled all over the Odeum early and delivered some fun chaos in their crowd brawl, but eventually they ended up back in the ring setting up spots and the match’s increasing runtime became its’ most notable trait. ***
6. US-of-Jay Open Challenge Match: Jay White vs. Shota Umino
Jon Moxley helped reveal his old buddy Shota (Shooter!) Umino as Jay White’s mystery opponent, and after a couple years underground he wrestled a little stilted but he also now looks like a combination of Hiroshi Tanahashi and Hiromu Takahashi — so that’s a win. Switchblade played this pretty safe and basic which overcame some of the more awkward bits, like Umino’s slow-motion neckbreaker that eventually led to the finish. **3/4
7. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Minoru Suzuki
Minoru Suzuki remains The Best but has visibly slowed down over the last few years, even if speed was never really his most defining trait. When he visits the U.S. though, even if he could get by with perhaps even less, he goes harder than ever. Ishii is somehow still producing the best G1 Climax-type work available too and here was Suzuki looking in prime shape and keeping up with it.
They actually seemed to respond to any lowered expectation early on by having Suzuki withstand an early assault of strikes from Ishii, re-asserting him as a threat right away. Somewhere in the last few minutes, before each threw a headbutt or two at each other, they crawled towards each other on the mat and it felt two equal titans about to throw their last and best shot.
Suzuki targeted the arm for most of the match, but like really targeted it. Ishii sold the arm through the finish too, but, like… really sold it. Some wrestlers are still trying to figure it all out each and every week, and some wrestlers use a reversal of a Gotch-style piledriver to get an uproarious pop. ****1/2
After the match, Eddie Kingston showed up and challenged Ishii for the next U.S. show.
8. Jon Moxley vs. Will Ospreay
As Captain Lou mentioned to me about this match before I even watched it, Moxley wrestles this so aggressively (they even begin with a crowd brawl) that Ospreay can’t fall back on any of his more annoying or unconvincing traits in trying to “build drama” or “play a character.” They didn’t waste much time here but went 20+ and packed it with action while ensuring a few big spots stood out. Mox took a bump into the guardrail so hard the crowd gasped, then Ospreay threw a chair at his face and drew blood.
They delivered some near falls at the end, but the pace set early led to a finishing sequence that felt different from the norm too… it was more about the moments. Ospreay hit an elbow drop from the top rope to the floor through a table, and it looked better than maybe any elbow drop from the top rope to the floor through a table that I have ever seen. Same with the curb stomp Moxley hit too. ****
Happy Thoughts: Entertaining night at the matches and a genuine injection of life for this brand, at least for those of us not keeping up with the TV. Talent in many different contractual scenarios were featured here, and they were for the most part all featured well. 3.5 / 5.0
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 – Day 6 (4/23/22)
Yuma Aoyagi vs. Kuma Arashi – Champion Carnival (Block B)
The peak Champion Carnival undercard experience. Two wrasslers with clear-cut characters and complementary styles doing their thing under the watchful eye of a single house show camera. One of them is a burly man-beast who works on people’s ribs for a living. The other, a lovable babyface scamp who will roll you up when you’re not looking. Again, Koomz’ offense hit like a ton of bricks and Yuma held on for dear life. Deeply enjoyable three and a quarter star wrestling. ***1/4
Jake Lee vs. Ryuki Honda – Champion Carnival (Block A)
Total Eclipse working out their internal beef made for a feisty little number. Honda’s lack of offense is still somewhat problematic, but him going straight for the eye injury was a nice touch. Jake sold big for him and rounded up the match with his Highly Controversial mix of arm work and Joker theatrics. Judging by the post-match show of respect, this feud might be already wrapped. Let’s run it back when Honda figures out how to do like 3 more moves. ***1/4
Shigehiro Irie vs T-Hawk – Champion Carnival (Block A)
Remember that Big Shuj/Ryouji Sai draw from the 2018 CC? This was not that. While we did get some mandatory headlock-based time filling, the action stayed pretty intense all the way through. Both T-Hawk and Irie are usually top-tier Short Match Guys, so watching them try their hand at a different format was half the fun here.
They did what most reasonable men would do when imposed with 30 minutes of wrestling: work some limbs. T-Hawk had a fresh, galaxy-brained approach to this, going after both the leg and arm, THUS banking in all the star ratings. Smart dude.
Things got emotional in the second half, T-Hawk pushing the ‘STRONGHEARTS COLLIDE’ angle to the forefront – screaming ‘’ANIKI’’ (Big brother) at Irie and igniting some nasty firefights. I’m still thinking about the way they were able to pay off all of their subplots in the frenzied final seconds – the arm pain preventing Irie from choking a human being. Great wrestling. ****
Kento Miyahara vs. Yoshitatsu – Champion Carnival (Block B)
Not on the level of their 2019 classic, but much better than their last singles meeting in 2020. They had a straight-to-the-point, Very Good Kento Match – Tatsu continuing his string of solid Carnival performances and raking in the WELL-DESERVED Twitter adulation. The pace was brisk, the strikes landed hard and Kento actually got to hit his freakin’ Northern Lights suplex. Rare sighting. I’d have gladly taken a few more minutes of this. ***1/4
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2022 – Day 7 (4/24/22)
Hikaru Sato © vs. Black Menso-re – AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title
All Japan loves to throw a show-stealing junior banger in the middle of Carnival. They did it in 2020 with that terrific Iwamoto/Hidaka match, repeated the same trick in 2021 with Hikaru/CIMA and did it again in 2022 with THIS. Originally meant to be a Hiroshi Yamato title challenge, Menso-re stepped up to replace the COVID-close-contacted singer and got himself into the scrap of a lifetime.
No antics whatsoever from your favorite reptilian prankster – the masked man straight up bringing the fight to Beast Mode Hikaru. They skipped all the submission work that usually comes with Sato title matches and just beat the shit out of each other. Absurd levels of violence that would’ve inspired reams of Hairy Wrestling Fan poetry a few years ago.
This is essentially what I love modern AJPW. They have all these undercard weirdos that will knock it out of the park whenever they get the tap on the shoulder. I mean, Menso-re randomly busted out the Low Ki-style tree of woe foot stomp at some point and it looked like pure death. This man rules and so did this match. ****
Shuji Ishikawa vs. Ryuki Honda – Champion Carnival (Block A)
Even with the extremely-high levels of Wada Dementia on display, this was the best Honda match of the tournament by far. Big Shuj’s powerhouse style played to young Honda’s strengths and serious amounts of beef were eaten. Again, this shit is not complicated. Honda’s best matches (this, the Last Man Standing match and the match with Kento) quickly got the aimless heel stomping out of the way and went straight to the bomb-throwing. The slap exchange was amazing – the kind of dumb bravado I’d love to see Honda lean into. ***1/2
Shotaro Ashino vs. Shigehiro Irie – Champion Carnival (Block A)
Killer match between these two short kings. They cranked the stiffness to 11 and divided their layout in three distinct sections that will each have experts proclaim ‘’This is wrestling’’. First, Ashino working the leg like a relentless little shit. This man loves working your leg as much as he loves Metallica. Second, Slug Festival 2022 in Korakuen Hall. These two play hard and hit even harder.
Third, a final stretch with some of the wildest counters of the entire tournament. Ashino’s mid-air German suplex counter to the flying headbutt was jaw dropping (audible gasp in Korakuen), as was Irie somehow turning Ashino’s running uppercut into a sleeper. Loved all of this. ***3/4
Jake Lee vs. T-Hawk – Champion Carnival (Block A)
As this was the block decider and T-Money’s first ever AJPW singles main event, the boys did their best to crank up the drama. It was mostly very good. T-Hawk went full babyface to counterbalance Jake’s Giggly Darth Vader schtick – big-time emoting and big-time crowd play.
It might’ve bordered on Too Much near the end – when he tried to plug the Big Brother angle from his match with Irie (who was at ring-side here), but I appreciate the attempt at tournament continuity.
Jake did good too, cramming all of his weirdo heel mannerisms and nasty cut-offs into an effective main event performance. While this was all very enjoyable, I do think the match would’ve benefitted from extra time, as Lee never really felt in any serious danger. ***1/2