THIS WEEK! Blood. And guts! And lists.
The final days of this years AJPW’s Champion Carnival and a new episode of How I Met Your Puroresu introducing you to Suzu Suzuki and Ice Ribbon.
Have a great weekend, friends.
AJPW Champion Carnival 2021 Day 8 (4/28/21) - Captain Lou
AJPW Champion Carnival 2021 Day 9 (4/29/21) - Captain Lou
AJPW Champion Carnival Finals (5/3/21) - Captain Lou
NJPW Wrestling Dontaku Night 1 (5/3/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
NJPW Wrestling Dontaku Night 2 (5/4/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
Top 25 WWE Matches of the Month (April 2021) - Dum Dum Daniels
How I Met Your Puroresu: Season 1, Episode 7 - Robert McCauley
Captain Lou’s Top 10 (April 2021) - Captain Lou
AEW Dynamite Blood & Guts Performance Review (5/5/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
Working Man’s WWE TV Review (5/2/21 - 5/8/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2021 – Day 8 (4/28/2021)
Yuma Aoyagi vs. Koji Doi – Champion Carnival
Fun fact: Yuma was Doi’s first singles match opponent when he showed up as Enfants Terribles’ newest troublemaker last year. They had sharp chemistry then and they have sharp chemistry now. Dug the efficient back and forth they gave us here – all smooth execution and traditional heel/face dynamic. The Yokohama fans seemed well aware of their non-state of emergency privilege and augmented the action by CLAPPING LOUDLY. God bless these folks. PS – Aoyagi’s Endgame is quickly climbing up the ranks of Best Finishes in AJPW. Love this thing. The three steps needed (necklock, hammerlock, body weight shift) to fully lock in the hold ensure quality drama every time. ***1/2
Zeus vs. Shotaro Ashino – Champion Carnival
These guys were on their way to wrestling one of the tournament’s smartest matches until a slightly-abrupt finish crashed the party. Ending aside, this layout was wrestling nerd bait of the highest order. Outpowered by the Z-Man in the early sections, Ashino went after the arm to even the odds and it was tremendous fun. As he usually favors the leg, the arm story gave Big Ash a chance to show off a completely different skill-set. Meanwhile, Zeus sold his ass off and fought back with a bunch of one-armed power moves like an 80’s action hero. Truly inspiring shit. Give ‘em 20 minutes next time and I think we’ll have something special on our hands. ***1/2
Jake Lee vs. Kohei Sato – Champion Carnival
Did I inadvertently curse this match by dissing the sudden finish of the last one? What a bummer. Life was great before the accidental KO finish. Submission-heavy wrasslin’ that blended last year’s Arm Work Jake Lee tropes with Kohei’s realistic approach to super satisfying results. Really enjoyed the way they worked a dueling limb work plot without ever being glaringly obvious about it. Both guys looked 100% ready to kick the shit out of each other before Sato got knocked loopy. Sad times. ***1/4
Suwama vs. Shinjiro Otani – Champion Carnival
Well, we are officially in Cursed Territory. I had wild hopes for this one but Otani’s unfortunate shoulder injury threw a wrench in the whole thing. It’s admirable how they tried to put something together in spite of Otani’s obvious incapacity. Kinda felt bad for Otani taking all those hard shots from Wama, but the surly old bastard probably would’ve not settled for anything less. **1/2
Kento Miyahara vs. Shuji Ishikawa – Champion Carnival
Once they got past the floor shtick, this was pretty awesome. A dynamic fairly similar to the empty arena Miyahara/Wama banger from the previous show – Babyface Kento getting his ass kicked by the gargantuan opposition and making fiery comebacks. Big Shuj brought a suitable amount of pain for the occasion, what with the loudest forearms you’ve ever heard, apron body slam of death and assorted destruction during the ending stretch. Say what you will about Kento, but this man has some next-level kickout timing. His 2.99 kickouts during the back end of the match cranked up the drama and gave the action a proper main event feel. With a tighter opening, this probably would’ve reached the heights of their previous burners. ***1/2
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2021 – Day 9 (4/29/2021)
Zeus vs. Koji Doi – Champion Carnival
Protein-heavy breakfast to start your day right. Zeus seemed intent on getting fresh face Doi over as a competent power fighter, so they made sure to tick every box on the Beef War checklist. Shoulderblocks, chops, lariats – all of that good stuff. The meat consumption was exemplary, but the countout finish left me a bit cold. Doi pulled off this stunt successfully with Otani earlier in the tournament, both guys just letting the hatred run wild. This felt more telegraphed and you could see the countout coming from a mile away. Still a fine trip to the buffet. ***1/4
Suwama vs. Shotaro Ashino – Champion Carnival
This worked a lot more for me than Ashino’s last Triple Crown challenge. They spent less time on the leg work subplot, kept a relatively brisk pace and put all the focus on The Suplex Master of Puppets (TM) bringing the god damn fight to Da Champ. Ashino did soooo well here, what with the dropkicks right at the bell, raging displays of fighting spirit and strategic ankle lock placement.
I probably don’t have to mention this anymore, but Suwama just excels at playing the Jumbo Tsuruta to the younger generation. This man knows exactly when to cut the shit and remind the kids to get the fuck off his lawn. See: him denying the hiptoss attempt or that clubbing forearm rampage during the floor brawling shenanigans. Much like in their empty arena match from last year, Ashino looked strong in defeat and the fake crowd stomping for his Backdrop kickouts brought a tear to my eye. ***3/4
Jake Lee vs. Shuji Ishikawa – Champion Carnival
Very much a tale of two matches. Kinda plodding first half where Jake’s heel work felt logical (targeting injuries!) but dry (so much stomping!) + Action-packed second half where the bombs came fast and furious. These maniacs busted out an empty arena German suplex on the floor and for that you WILL respect them. Big Shuj fighting from underneath is a tricky proposition but it ended up working here as The Dark Gentleman Jake Lee still looked killer in defeat. Plus, no one kicks out of the Captain Lou Thesz Press. ***1/4
Kento Miyahara vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival
These boys know how to do a long-term All Japan rivalry. Not only does the match quality keep going up every time they meet, but so does Yuma’s standing as bonafide main eventer. The kid’s been on a roll in 2021 and here he looked every bit the star as his on-again-off-again Nextreamer.
A drawn-out epic main event match structure is a risky gamble in an empty arena format, but they brought enough hatred and intensity to make it work. Big time escalation from the opening headlocks to the late-stage Blackout drama. Aoyagi didn’t let himself get swallowed by Kento’s attention-craving forcefield and supplied a ton of fun character moments of his own. Shoutout to his muscle pose ripoff and Oscar-worthy facials during the apron Endgame sequence.
At this point, forearm exchanges are Japanese wrestling’s bread and butter. If you want your exchanges to stand out, you better bring the heat. The ones in this match brought the fucking heat. Both guys just bashing each other’s brains in while in mounted position was peak main event content. The rest of the ending stretch was top-tier Kento Ending Stretch fire – ingenious counters and big match drama all over. ****
Captain Lou’s Review: AJPW Champion Carnival 2021 – Finals (5/3/2021)
Zeus, Izanagi & UTAMARO vs. Hikaru Sato, Dan Tamura & Francesco Akira
After a fun detour in non-state of emergency Yokohama, we are back in an empty Korakuen Hall because COVID doesn’t care about your tournament finals. Life is grim but this short and sweet opening match was fairly painless. People wrestled in efficient fashion and Izanagi rolled up someone because that’s what he does. Also, Daniel Tamura will have to work on that Powerbomb if he wants to be the one true Son of Suwama. **1/4
Takao Omori, Yoshitatsu Black Menso-re & Ryuki Honda vs. Kuma Arashi, TAJIRI, Yusuke Kodama & Hokuto Omori
If you’ve been skipping the Champ Carnival undercards, then you’ve missed out on this entire blood feud between Total Eclipse and Omori’s Midcard Squadron. First of all: how dare you? You won’t get a better look inside the tortured mind of TAJIRI and his various 80’s wrestling booking influences. Props to Kuma for adapting his guitar playing to Hokuto’s theme. A true musician. **
Shotaro Ashino vs. Koji Doi – Champion Carnival
A newcomer watching this could never tell that these guys were just part of a bitter betrayal angle. Very respectful armdrag exchanges. Maybe the more violent version of the match was scrapped because of the no-crowd setting? I have no idea. Anyway, they didn’t have the bar fight I had envisioned, but they had a solid Baseline Ashino match. Burly European uppercuts were thrown, lariats were avoided and an acceptable amount of fun was had. The post-match angle with Honda and Kuma was fucking great and went a long way in rehabilitating the puzzling lack of hatred. ***
Koji Iwamoto, Rising HAYATO & Atsuki Aoyagi vs. CIMA, T-Hawk & El Lindaman
Could not have asked for a better AJPW introduction for T-Hawk and Linda! High-speed Strong Hearts 6-man burner where everyone looked like a million bucks. CIMA is so much better when he’s flanked by his boys. There’s a real cohesion to their team work – like classic Southern tag heels but with spectacular 2021 tag offense. T-Hawk is the most underused guy in all of Japanese wrestling and he adds credibility and excitement to any match he’s in. He’d be good enough to mix it up with the All Japan heavyweights, but at this point I’ll take anything. As long as he gets screen time. Strong Hearts gushing aside, Team Zen Nihon really stepped up here too. I’d book an entire All Asia tag program around the Nextream juniors and Strong Hearts. Just hook it to my veins. ***1/2
Yuma Aoyagi vs. Kohei Sato – Champion Carnival
Very pleasant clash between Aoyagi’s impeccable babyfacing and Kohei’s brutal striking. Quite enjoyed the progression of the layout, as Yuma’s early trolling on the floor soon gave way to him getting the dogshit kicked out of him. Only Kohei Sato could make basic forearm shots to the back sound so utterly devastating. You don’t want to play around this man. I can’t believe they gave Aoyagi the upset here, but they did it in a convincing way (Japanese legroll clutch~!) and I guess this confirms the office’s commitment to the kid. Hell of a tournament run from Yuma. ***1/4
Suwama vs. Shuji Ishikawa – Champion Carnival
SWAMP FIGHT. Probably the ugliest match of the whole tournament and I mean this in the best possible way. Two lumpy monsters just awkwardly crashing into each other until one of them could no longer get up. Everything about this felt rough around the edges – from Big Shuj immediately getting a bloody nose to the lack of clear-cut structure. The messiness ended up enhancing the vibe and by the time the Wamster got dunked with 3 consecutive Fire Thunders, I was 100% dialed in.
So many memorable visuals. The monstrous camel clutch on the bleeding Ishikawa. Big Wama speaking in tongues while selling the DDT on the floor. A masterclass in fleshing out your heavyweight slug-fest with emoting and character moments. Plus, the bombs-heavy ending stretch felt worthy of a Triple Crown match. Hell, it smoked their actual Triple Crown match from last year. ***3/4
Kento Miyahara vs. Jake Lee – Champion Carnival Finals
It’s nothing less than a tragedy that this match happened in front of no one. After a static 2020, All Japan have finally been making big moves this year. Total Eclipse, Strong Hearts involvement, GAORA TV title rehabilitation, Yuma Aoyagi push. The rise of Heel Jake Lee throughout this tournament felt like the most important piece of the company’s revitalization process and this match was the ultimate money shot. Crowd or no crowd, the Dark Gentleman has arrived.
In many ways, the excellent Jake/Yuma match from day 5 was a rehearsal for this final. The evil stomach destruction trope that was introduced in that match was pushed to new heights here and anchored the action perfectly. Boatloads of vicious offense from Jake Lee 3.0 including stomach forearm cut-offs that would make Kotaro Suzuki proud. It sure didn’t hurt that Kento sold all of it like death, coughing and near-vomiting at times.
No one does tournament finals like Miyahara, and predictably enough: this was his best performance since last year’s CC finals with Zeus. Total package Ace performance from Twitter’s most controversial figure – a whirlwind of fighting spirit, explosive comebacks and long-term selling. The occasion clearly wasn’t lost on Kento and he seemed determined to finally, truly make Jake Lee happen. They’ve had a ton of great matches before but this felt like the most important.
The sheer amount of drama they were able to ramp up in an empty arena setting was miraculous. Sure, the ring-side seconds and random staffers dispersed through Korakuen helped, but it mostly came down to peak-level performances from Kento and Jake. The Shutdown kickout, rope-biting spot and no-bullshit decisive Brainbuster win all coalesced perfectly into a grand pro-wrestling finish. One of the year’s best. ****1/2
Happy Thoughts – NJPW Wrestling Dontaku Night 1 (5/3/21)
In the beginning there was a bang. Maybe. Cosmic dust led to moons and baboons, to hunting and horticulture. To a Tiger Mask and Tokyo Pimp, to Openweight Titles and Iron Fingers From Hell.
Welcome to the seventeenth edition of Wrestling Dontaku.
1. Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Toru Yano, Tiger Mask & Master Wato vs. EVIL, Yujiro Takahashi, Taiji Ishimori & Dick Togo
Respect to the boys, but start a show pairing up EVIL/Yano then Yujiro/Tenzan and I’m going to ask questions. You don’t need tight hammerlocks and dueling dropkicks, but try and charm just a little bit yeah? Hiroyoshi Tenzan remains just here, possibly the best wrestler in the whole match even if he’s ready to hobble off into the sunset with that janky foot he has. Dick Togo took some offense from the slightly improved Master Wato before Taiji finished off old Tiger Mask Four. **
2. Kazuchika Okada, SHO & YOH vs. Minoru Suzuki, El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
This was a match where Kazuchika Okada made his return to the ring after a month off while Desperado and YOH did enough to reasonably convince everybody their match could be really good. Then it got cancelled. Kanemaru was so extra on his bumps here, like he was the only one that received the message these matches feel a little sad sometimes. **1/2
3. Tetsuya Naito, SANADA, Shingo Takagi & BUSHI vs. Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Jeff Cobb & Aaron Henare
Those who are not governable sure aren’t going to like a whole Empire. Shingo and Will tossed each other around a bit, but I think the only point this really felt like it went beyond New Japan undercard match was when O-Khan picked up Naito and tossed him into SANADA. The Empire still isn’t really “there” for me but Los Ingobernables haven’t really been “there” for me since the EVIL turn either. Everybody got their thing in, as the world turns… **
4. Special Singles Match: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Tanga Loa
Grappling, so much grappling, endless grappling and jockeying and grappling. They maintain a sort of credibility while sacrificing any entertainment factor whatsoever, though Tanga Loa does an admirable job playing the strong guy who can power out of ZSJ’s stuff if not actually just overpower him and win. Decent, unremarkable wrestling. **1/2
5. Iron Finger From Hell Ladder Match: Taichi vs. Tama Tonga
This was allegedly a match. More of an experiment than a match, but a whole bell rang at both the start and finish. I appreciated the seriousness with which the Iron Fingers From Hell (a kind of supercharged brass knuckles, for the luckily uninitiated) were bagged and strung up to the ceiling, but then they just went ahead and had any old Ladder Match. Each guy took a bump onto the ladder, did a convoluted cutter spot, and accepted their second’s interference with open arms.
Taichi is so enormously special the people will pop for his ascent up the ladder, but even he will lose them jumping off the ladder directly into a cutter from Tama. DOUKI actually unironically ruled here, his springboard spot and powerbomb through a ladder on the floor some of the only moments this 25-minute bunch of stuff felt alive. Tama tried to cutter Taichi off the ladder but Taichi just stayed up and won. Don’t let WWE be better at this. C’mon guys. C’mon. *3/4
6. NEVER Openweight Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi [c] vs. Jay White
An excellent wrestling match — you heard me, a wrestling match! The boys pulled off a compelling stretch of space and time via leg work and selling. There’s never going to be a rule banning matches over 30-minutes (unless…), but the minutes aren’t always the problem – it’s who is using them. Hiroshi Tanahashi, first of his name and master salesman of the Strong Style, is one who is actually capable of using those minutes. The viewer’s attention might not always be completely captured by the thing going on but who’s attention is captured by anything? Tana and Jay were making sure here that somethin’ was always goin’ on, man.
Lockups, clean breaks, and headlocks – anyone can do them; it’s how you do them! They brought an air of competition and seriousness to it all, whether wearing down a man’s leg in advance of the Texas Cloverleaf submission or just showing off their impressive abdominal muscles. Tanahashi spends the first bit keeping Jay trapped in a headlock, and Jay is no longer one to play along — he eventually lifts Tanahashi up and drops him balls-first on the top rope. Both guys target the leg most of the match and it feels less like filler and more like the mode of transportation for a winner.
As they head towards the end of the match all of nearly 40 minutes later, it isn’t about who can counter who and kickout of what at the last second; it’s just about whether or not Tanahashi can stand up on his own two legs and fight back. Tana does show enough life that it seems he will, so Jay resorts to trying to win by cradle. This causes Tana to get ballsy and try a Dragon suplex… so Jay strikes with Blade Runner, 1-2-3. The end. Tremendous match, ageless Tanahashi opposite a Jay White who’s figured his thing out. ****1/4
Happy Thoughts: Matches four and five being showcases for the Guerillas of Destiny will really mess with your card format, but GODDAM is the main event worth seeking out for anyone who likes professional wrestling. 2.75 / 5.0
Happy Thoughts – NJPW Wrestling Dontaku Night 2 (5/4/21)
Missing from the second night of Wrestling Dontaku were Okada, Suzuki, Kanemaru, KENTA, SHO, YOH, and El Desperado – those last two being key, as their planned IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title match was called off just hours before the show. That was a bummer considering how sparse the 2-night New Japan card is these days and how long it usually is between appearances of Big Match Desperado.
1. Taichi, Zack Sabre Jr. & DOUKI vs. Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Jado
This wasn’t bad at all. Bad as the baseline isn’t ideal, but when it hits above baseline we call that a pleasant surprise. When in doubt, just DOUKI – guy does a massive Asai moonsault and sells his heart out to setup Hot Tag Taichi. ZSJ taps out Jado, who is so jacked at this point it really doesn’t matter he can’t wrestle anymore. **3/4
2. Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Master Wato vs. Yujiro Takahashi & Taiji Ishimori
Losing Despy vs. YOH was a bummer, but it did mean we got a Tenzan and Wato dad/son tag team match on a semi-big show and I appreciate that. I also appreciate that Tenzan is still doing the Mongolian Chop after he lost it to O-Khan, just doesn’t care at all. Some may cry continuity; I say shut up: that was a stupid stipulation. Wato Master takes a beating, though Yujiro and Taiji aren’t the Midnight Express… or even, like… the Basham Brothers. Taiji pins Wato. **
3. Tetsuya Naito, SANADA & BUSHI vs. Great-O-Khan, Jeff Cobb & Aaron Henare
Plenty of solid and semi-meaningless exchanges here, though poor BUSHI barely got to get his shit in before it was time to get pinned. Naito and O-Khan are still having issues, though it has this WWE vibe where they had 10 matches already and the heat died down. Cobb smashes BUSHI’s face with a Kamigoye, cackles like a prick, and wins with Tour of the Islands. **3/4
4. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano & Ryusuke Taguchi vs. EVIL, Jay White & Dick Togo
A match in which Taguchi setup a tag to Tanahashi by delivering a dragon screw leg whip to Jay White’s leg, all to Tanahashi’s great delight. I absolutely will cherish any exchanges between Tanahashi and Dick Togo too and so should you. Tanahashi puts a blindfold over Togo’s face to setup Yano’s pin, a callback to that match nobody should have to think about ever again. **1/4
5. IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Will Ospreay [c] vs. Shingo Takagi
People say Will Ospreay is a great wrestler, and for a while I didn’t believe them but then I did. I still may. I saw greatness in the 2019 G1, actual greatness where a desire to hit really hard mixed with an ability to land on his feet like a stupid cat out of basically anything translated into a compelling addition to the New Japan roster. Didn’t really see greatness last year though. Can’t tell if it’s the muscle mass or dipshittery or both, but he doesn’t hit as a whole wrestler and especially lead champion.
This is a heck of a match though, a wild one… a great one? Kind of, maybe. It’s Shingo Takagi challenging for the IWGP World Heavyweight Title and he’s doing it opposite this ball of raw athletic energy that he has great chemistry with and can grab and throw around anytime he wants. From the bell they’re always trying to out-pace each other and establish something – character, style, credibility. It’s impressive as heck; it’s wild to watch.
Shingo will also grit his teeth with the best of them and sell Ospreay’s (inspired) arm work to make the whole thing… work, and they power through all the tropes from floor spots to limb work and just kind of do it better than most – tighter, higher, quicker, crisper. It’s a 21st-century jockeying for position all throughout, Ospreay flying around like a savant while Shingo bases and fires back like it’s too easy but it’s not.
The gang was all here too: Spanish Fly, rope-drape Shooting Star Press, Last of the Dragon off the apron through a table. It was all kind of amazing but at some point the old-timers have their point: this type of wrestling has a peak. The Tanahashi/White match from last night could be defined by what it didn’t do; this was all about them just doing everything — all of it, and it’s well worth your time even if Ospreay really needs to figure something else out beyond generic asshole. ****1/2
Happy Thoughts: Despite loss of Despy/YOH, undercard tags better than usual and we didn’t have double GoD. Plus the main was good and whatnot. New Japan isn’t “back” but this was a good show. 3.0 / 5.0
Top 25 WWE Matches of the Month – April 2021
1. SmackDown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks [c] vs. Bianca Belair (WrestleMania 37 4/10/21)
This match featured a few of the coolest spots ever done in a wrestling ring (not to mention a WrestleMania main event), spots that were seamlessly worked into a tight package that made a new star, had B-and-C-stories to follow, and actually didn’t drag itself out 10 minutes past its’ expiration. This is better than what I think good wrestling is supposed to even be.
2. NXT UK Title: WALTER [c] vs. Tommaso Ciampa (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
Like a lot of WALTER’s championship defenses, this maintained a wrestling credibility WWE rarely achieves elsewhere… but it also had Tommaso Ciampa playing this old bastard who was going to try and run through him again and again. A Ciampa win felt unlikely but they managed to make it seem like a possibility too. Got to respect WALTER showing up every few months and putting on one of the best matches of all time too.
3. If Reigns Wins, Bryan Leaves SmackDown – WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Daniel Bryan
If this was Bryan’s last hurrah in WWE then it was an awesome way to go, opposite his arch-rival in a premium WWE main event that was all about momentum via ass-kicking and cut-offs via signature moves with a no-bullshit urgency the stipulation called for. Good guy and bad guy, stakes and stipulations. It doesn’t seem that complicated until two of the best in the world do it right and remind you that this is the most not-complex complex art in the world.
4. Triple Threat Match – WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Edge vs. Daniel Bryan (WrestleMania 37 4/11/21)
A type of match, less a wrestling classic than The Wrestling Experience but still a heck of an experience: dueling crossfaces, powerbomb through a table, two men trying to hit a spear simultaneously and colliding skulls mid-air. It’s a little all over the place but occasionally the greatest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen.
5. Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins (WrestleMania 37 4/10/21)
High-level, exciting professional wrestling. The Ring of Honor fellas did all the things on the big stage, including the first (I think?) UFO from Cesaro in WWE. They built the match around the Cesaro Swing and Cesaro not being able to win; in the end they did the Cesaro Swing and Cesaro won. It was tremendous.
6. NXT Women’s Title: Raquel Gonzalez [c] vs. Io Shirai (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
We are blessed to live in the era of Io Shirai. Like Sasha/Bianca, here’s a PPV main event that put over a newcomer while intelligently spacing out and delivering few of the most amazing things you will ever see in a wrestling ring.
7. Daniel Bryan & Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins & Jey Uso (SmackDown 4/23/21)
Bryan and Rollins throwing down, Bryan and Cesaro taking heat, Bryan hot tag, a hot closing stretch (featuring Bryan)… this was good to great wrestling on Friday night TV.
8. Nigerian Drum Fight – WWE Intercontinental Title: Big E [c] vs. Apollo Crews (WrestleMania 37 4/11/21)
I don’t think they even used a drum, but this was a blast: a 7-minute brawl packed with enough nasty bumps and kendo stick shots that it felt double that. Here’s to something completely different.
9. Bad Bunny & Damian Priest vs. The Miz & John Morrison (WrestleMania 37 4/10/21)
In which Bad Bunny did a la magistral cradle and falcon arrow, in which he sold a beating like a champion and did a Canadian Destroyer on the floor. At WrestleMania. Pretty spectacular celebrity wrestling match.
10. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn w/ Logan Paul (WrestleMania 37 4/11/21)
10 minutes long and not a moment wasted; this isn’t some violent or layered classic but the system is the system: it can change sometimes, but work through its’ confinements and you might find yourself doing head-drop suplexes and face kicks at WrestleMania before giving a Stone Cold Stunner to Logan Paul.
11. Meiko Satomura vs. Aoife Valkyrie (NXT UK 4/29/21)
Some wrestlers are so good you can just plant them anywhere — even NXT UK — and they’ll continue to have great matches in spite of it. Meiko Satomura delivered here with promising newcomer Aoife Valkyrie, who has kind of just ruled from her TV debut. The veteran vs. upstart match stays in style if they’re showing enough fire. Plenty of that here.
12. NXT UK Title: WALTER [c] vs. Rampage Brown (NXT UK Prelude 4/8/21)
A different kind of WALTER match, but still a good WALTER match. He treats Rampage like an equal, getting tossed around and trading strikes instead of just hitting his opponent and watching them fall down.
13. WWE U.S. Title: Riddle [c] vs. Sheamus (WrestleMania 37 4/11/21)
Pro wrestlers hitting each other hard remains in style, whether in the Thunderdome or Raymond James Stadium. Sheamus counters a Lionsault with a Brouge kick here; he also delivers one of the greatest knee drops of all time.
14. KUSHIDA vs. Pete Dunne (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
Tons of cool wrestling, nasty strikes, counters of counters that were usually focused on a man’s limb. It felt more about them proving they’re good at wrestling than actually good wrestling sometimes, but adaptation to WWE’s weirdness aside these two are phenomenal.
15. NXT UK Heritage Cup #1 Contender’s Match: Tyler Bate vs. Noam Dar w/ Sha Samuels (NXT UK Prelude 4/8/21)
A psychologically sound Heritage Cup rules match, each fall and some leg work providing a foundation for a bunch of wrestling exchanges that were practically dazzling.
16. Triple Threat Match – NXT Tag Team Title: MSK vs. The Grizzled Young Veterans vs. Legado del Fantasma (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
An actually good Triple Threat Tag; MSK are a special pair of flyers and it was impressive how seamlessly the Grizzled Young Vets played along with 3-way match spots when they’re such… well, you know. Raul Mendoza & Joaquin Wilde have always just ruled too, so it was nice to see them in a big TakeOver spot.
17. RAW Women’s Title: Asuka [c] vs. Rhea Ripley (WrestleMania 37 4/11/21)
Badass Ripley not afraid of Asuka’s bullshit and bringing it to her all match was a cool dynamic to the reliably awesome Asuka championship match. This felt like a struggle for control the entire time until Rip just smashed the Riptide.
18. Moustache Mountain vs. Noam Dar & Sha Samuels (NXT UK 4/22/21)
It was sad to see the momentarily reunited Moustache Mountain emerge from a curtain to the cheers of the vague void that is the BT Arena, but Bate and Seven having a basic tag match is still better than most wrestling right now.
19. Zoey Stark vs. Toni Storm (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
20. Zayda Ramier vs. Toni Storm (NXT 4/27/21)
Toni Storm went 0-2 here against NXT’s newest rookies, but she was 2-0 in having good matches with them. This was tight, credible wrestling where all the great-looking offense Stark and Ramier provide was utilized effectively.
21. Sarray vs. Zoey Stark (NXT 4/21/21)
A promising debut within NXT’s cursed world, Sareee has arrived and she kicked the shit out of Zoey Stark.
22. Drew McIntyre vs. King Corbin (RAW 4/5/21)
This 20-minute Drew McIntyre/Baron Corbin was weirdly good, a pretty basic WWE-style match that just inexplicably clicked including when Corbin tried MMA stuff.
23. Ladder Match – Undisputed NXT Cruiserweight Title: Jordan Devlin vs. Santos Escobar (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21)
I liked the approach to this if not the whole thing itself, a match where they rarely wavered in wanting to hurt each other (unless Devlin was doing one of his pretty moonsaults). Good effort, so-so as far as standing out from all other ladder matches… or even probably needing to be a ladder match.
24. NXT Cruiserweight Title: KUSHIDA [c] vs. Oney Lorcan (NXT 4/21/21)
This low key dream match was more a solid NXT TV match than anything, but it’s good wrestling from two of the greats.
25. Kyle O’Reilly vs. Cameron Grimes (NXT 4/21/21)
Another solid NXT TV match, though one one ended with an incredible top rope kneedrop.
Honorable Mentions: Meiko Satomura & Millie McKenzie vs. Kay Lee Ray & Isla Dawn (NXT UK Prelude 4/8/21), Bobby Lashley w/ MVP vs. Riddle (RAW 4/13/21), NXT Women’s Tag Team Title: Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart [c] vs. Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell (TakeOver: Stand & Deliver 4/7/21), NXT Tag Team Title: MSK [c] vs. Killian Dain & Drake Maverick (NXT 4/14/21), NXT Cruiserweight Title: Santos Escobar [c] vs. KUSHIDA (NXT 4/14/21), Bronson Reed, Dexter Lumis, Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart vs. Johnny Gargano, Austin Theory, Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell (NXT 4/14/21), Ever-Rise vs. Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari (205 Live 4/30/21)
How I Met Your Puroresu: S1 E7
How I Met Your Puroresu is a series dedicated to providing background information on matches in hopes of broadening horizons. These matches will be no longer than that of a sitcom as to not overwhelm a first time viewer.
Company: Ice Ribbon
Show Title: Yokohama Ribbon 2021 GW II
Match: Suzu Suzuki vs Jun Kasai
Length: 15 Minutes
Production Date: May 5, 2021
Air Date: May 5, 2021
How far are you willing to go in order to prove yourself? The now 18-year-old Suzu Suzuki captured the ICE×∞ Championship at the age of 17 and less than two years into her career. She racked up four successful defenses as champion before falling to company ace, Tsukasa Fujimoto, but Suzu wasn’t satisfied with shuffling down the card into a tag role. Instead, Suzu decided to push herself to another level with a series of matches dubbed the Suzu Suzuki Hardcore Determination Seven Match Series.
Not a month after suffering the defeat to Fujimoto, Suzu was tasked with a challenge by Yuko Miyamoto. A staple on the independent scene both for his hardcore and tag team work, Miyamoto has collected titles ranging from the BJW Death Match Heavyweight Championship to AJPW’s All Asia Tag Team Championship. Someone with his accolades being the first of seven proved the severity of this series.
The following month, Takashi Sasaki was next up on the list. Not only a legendary hardcore wrestler in his own right, Sasaki is also the founder of Pro Wrestling FREEDOMS, the trendiest death match promotion in the world. Although she no longer carried the top title in the company, Suzu kept herself in featured singles bouts that sometimes were able to steal the show.
Next up was her biggest challenge to date when the most celebrated death match wrestler of the 2010s stepped through the curtains of Ice Ribbon, Masashi Takeda. In a world dominated by politics, to be able to simultaneously hold the top titles of rival promotions is a serious feat and that’s what Takeda was able to manage in 2018 when he was both the BJW Death Match Heavyweight and King of FREEDOM Champion. Suzu Suzuki taking on this level of competition was seriously impressive but it’s about to get crazy.
I defy you to find an active wrestler within the death match community who has more clout than Jun Kasai. The 23-year veteran is the most battled tested warrior the style has to offer and is still relevant to this day. Earlier this year he managed to win an AJPW singles title where he was able to showcase his death match brand. Jun Kasai’s career has eclipsed Suzu’s life by half a decade and the experience advantage favors Kasai nearly 11:1. As great as the other challenges have been, this is certainly the peak in terms of prestige.
In a world plagued with a “good enough” attitude, it’s trailblazers like Suzu Suzuki whose work ethic shines a bright light on what can be done if you push yourself beyond the limit. She will not let a title run define her worth but instead find a way to shine despite all obstacles.
Captain Lou’s Top 10 – April 2021
Promotions Watched: AJPW, NOAH, DDT, Dragon Gate, Ganbare Pro
In order to ease us into Japan’s dreadful return to empty arenas, April gave us a whole bunch of great wrestling. Both with crowds and without. The 2021 Champ Carnival took up most of my reviewing time and proved to be one of the most painless tournaments in recent memory. No weak participants, reasonable match lengths all over and top-tier performances from the usual suspects. If All Japan can maintain this kind of momentum through the state of emergency/empty arena period, they’ll be in a pretty exciting place when the crowds return.
The big surprise of the month came from GanPro, who knocked it out of the park with a Show of the Year-level Korakuen stacked with a ton of bangers. The must-see Sasaki/Ohka death match odyssey grabbed the #1 spot, but you should just check out the entire show and immerse yourself in the Ganbare world. Probably the most underrated promotion going right now.
I am starting to drag my feet with both Dragon Gate and NOAH. The Ark managed to sneak in at #2 via the Sugiura/Kazzer slug-fest, but I’m not loving the direction of the company at the moment. Meanwhile, DG chugged along with their recent trend of efficient stories but slightly-inessential wrestling. You could likely skip this entire month of DG Network content and head straight for Dead or Alive without much consequences.
The Top 10
Takashi Sasaki vs. Ken Ohka – Fluorescent Light Tubes Death Match (GanPro 4/7/2021)
Kazuyuki Fujita vs. Takashi Sugiura – GHC National Title (NOAH 4/29/2021)
Suwama vs. Kento Miyahara – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/25/2021)
Kento Miyahara vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/29/2021)
Jake Lee vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/18/2021)
Suwama vs. Zeus – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/11/2021)
Kento Miyahara vs. Zeus – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/9/2021)
Suwama vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/24/2021)
Keisuke Ishii & Shota vs. Yuki Ueno & Shunma Katsumata (GanPro 4/7/2021)
HARASHIMA & Yuji Okabayashi © vs. Jun Akiyama & Makoto Oishi – KO-D Tag Team Titles (DDT 4/18/2021)
Honorable Mentions
1. Shinjiro Otani vs. Yuma Aoyagi – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/9/2021)
2. CIMA vs. Hikaru Sato – AJPW Jr. Heavyweight Title (AJPW 4/25/2021)
3. Suwama vs. Shotaro Ashino – Champion Carnival (AJPW 4/29/2021)
4. Asuka, Hagane Shinno & Shinichiro Tominaga © vs. Shigehiro Irie, Yumehito Imanari & Yuna Manase – GWC 6-Man Tag Team Titles (GanPro 4/7/2021)
5. HARASHIMA vs. Baliyan Akki (DDT 4/4/2021)
Performance Review – AEW Dynamite: Blood & Guts (5/5/21)
“The following program contains violent material, which may not be suitable for children. Parental discretion is advised.”
I enjoyed Blood & Guts because wrestling is usually better when based around punching and brawling and bleeding faces. That’s not science but I don’t think any of it is, so go with it. The match was good, great even: best WarGames match in almost two decades, plenty to be proud of. But AEW continues to have a conclusion problem.
The World
This is a world all about blood, guts, and The Elite still workshopping as TV heels. Double or Nothing (at full capacity!?) is a few weeks away but there’s either too much going on or not enough quality control going into what is.
Erratic expectations of the modern fan aside, nitpicking and naysaying and everything in between.. you can’t just end the show like that.
It wasn’t just that MJF pushing Chris Jericho off the top of the cage looked like carefully staged crap, though it did.
The show concluded with not a simple bloody (and gutsy) victory, but a stunt to continue The Story that felt like their second gimmick match dud this year rather than a hook for the future.
It also concluded feeling suspiciously focused on proving Y2J can do another crazy thing than just putting over The Pinnacle or even his own Inner Circle. Guys!!!
Elsewhere, Anthony Ogogo laid out Cody Rhodes while Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page promo’d their way into the upper midcard. They tossed Darby Allin down a concrete flight of stairs too. It was a shocking end to a cool angle and would’ve made for a much better conclusion to the show.
Performance: 3.0 / 5.0 (GOOD BUT I GOT QUESTIONS )
The Wrestling
Blood & Guts was an awesome match surrounded by some stupid stuff, so it was appropriate for 2021 if not completely JCP or whatever. Dax Harwood kicked it off and had a whole match with Sammy Guevara, who along with Santana & Ortiz took enough wild bumps to be the match’s MVP’s. Loved the high comedy art of Dax cutting open his forehead right away too; all the heels seemed to get the memo there.
The Pinnacle distracting Jake Hager by Dax telling MJF to not approach him only for Wardlow to chop block Hager as MJF approached him anyways was tremendous, complete with Dax smiling afterwards like he won something. The forfeit finish wasn’t executed well but forgivable; Jericho’s Big Bump was just dumb.
Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston vs. Kenny Omega/Michael Nakazawa really needed a more audible crowd if all it was going to be was Mox and Kingston messing with Sprint employee Michael Nakazawa.
Cody Rhodes vs. QT Marshall was an OK match that did a bad job of extending their feud though an OK job of putting Anthony Ogogo in Cody’s place. The Britt Baker and Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Eliminator made for perfectly fine first hour filler too.
Performance: 3.75 / 5.0 (BLOOD & GUTS)
The Entertainment
Blood. Guts. Max Caster‘s “Dark Side of the Ring” bar. The return of Technique by Taz. Yuji Nagata.
Don’t let me being bummed out over the end of Blood & Guts take away from Darby Allin being amazing. This wonderful freak could’ve gotten away just doing a Coffin Drop off a concrete pillar holding up Daily’s Place amphitheater, but the man got himself tossed down a flight of stairs too. A superstar.
New prospect taking out top guy is quality entertainment, an angle that’s worked out well in many territories over the years. Not sure why Cody Rhodes — who usually does territory cosplay well — would call for super-double-extra territory cosplay and have Anthony Ogogo drape the Union Jack flag over him like he was Bill Watts. Weird move for a guy who’s stuff is usually way more purposeful.
Performance: 3.5 / 5.0 (VERY GOOD)
Room for Improvement
Up the volume on the live audience
Up the volume on the crowd
Don’t earn a reputation for bad conclusions
My Favorite Things
Dax Harwood bleeding a minute in
Wardlow
Santana’s commitment to the cage bump
Performance Review: 68% [+8%]
Working Man’s WWE TV Review: 5/2/21 – 5/8/21
RAW is bad and Karrion Kross sucks, but Jimmy Uso is back and Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell won the NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles.
Working Man’s Recap
Good Work: Omos, Sheamus, Leon Ruff, Indi Hartwell, Mustafa Ali, Noam Dar, Roman Reigns, The Usos, Cesaro, Ikeman Jiro
World: RAW is Bad, Karrion Kross Sucks, Candice LeRae Wins Gold, Return of the Maharaja, Return of Jimmy Uso
Wrestling: Falls Count Anywhere: Leon Ruff vs. Isaiah “Swerve” Scott (NXT 5/4/21), NXT Women’s Tag Team Title: Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart [c] vs. Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell (NXT 5/4/21), Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali (Main Event 5/5/21), Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins (SmackDown 5/7/21)
Entertainment: Noam Dar’s Superstar Sessions w/ Nathan Frazer (NXT UK 5/6/21), Bayley/Bianca Belair promo (SmackDown 5/7/21), Jimmy Uso tells Roman he wouldn’t have quit (SmackDown 5/7/21)
RAW (5/3/21)
RAW just sucks every week now. The best part was three great clotheslines during the show by Damian Priest, Shelton Benjamin and Angel Garza. I don’t know why they were all on the same show, but I’m appreciating the wins RAW affords me.
Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are lead characters now, the authority with no actual authority, and oversaw a show where Randy Orton got tomatoes thrown at him to setup a tag match and Angel Garza shoved a rose up Drew Gulak‘s ass.
In the tag division, Omos tossed New Day around again and Cedric Alexander dropped Shelton for some reason before Naomi & Lana lost their Tag Title challenge in about a minute.
Mansoor made his RAW debut losing to Sheamus by DQ, and Eva Marie is coming back. For the perverts.
The main event was Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman with Drew McIntyre on commentary, like a big last gasp before live crowds come back and have something to say about something.
Rating:1.0 / 5.0
NXT (5/4/21)
The rules are clear: the wrestling blogger cannot complain if the show opens and closes with great wrestling.
Leon Ruff vs. Isaiah “Swerve” Scott was the best part of the Gauntlet Eliminator at Stand & Deliver, a good singles match a few weeks ago, and an awesome Falls Count Anywhere opener here. It was one of those matches like Ali/Murphy from a few heads ago where there’s a clear directive that there are no directives. Ruff was a bumping machine, a DVD to the floor especially dangerous. In a world of so many crazy moves too, particularly a lot of reverse hurricanrana’s, the one Ruff did to Swerve off the apron was something special. Swerve got himself a crew to help win, and I’m sure we’ll hear more about that. Not quite breakout because Thunderdome, but breakout-worthy.
Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell won the NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles from Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart in a Street Fight main event (we love gimmicks), and it might’ve been a breakout performance for Hartwell – or at least confirmation she’s a player as well as confirmation she can do a tremendous elbow drop through a table. High-energy chaos is one of the best kinds of wrestling and this had it.
Sarray had a tremendous follow-up to her debut with Zayda Ramier too, wrecking a game Ramier with a dropkick and backdrop suplex.
LA Knight beat Jake Atlas in a solid match; Cameron Grimes beat Asher Hale (the former Anthony Henry) in one too before getting out-hustled again by that damn Ted DiBiase.
Also, Franky Monet’s dog shit in Shotzi’s tank.
Great opener and closer aside though, the NXT Title scene right now might be loaded with individual talents but it’s bad TV when all roads are leading to Karrion Kross.
Rating:3.0 / 5.0
MAIN EVENT (5/5/21)
Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali are officially having what wrestling fans used to call a “series” on Main Event and the matches just keep getting better as they try wackier shit in lieu of being on RAW. Highlight spot saw Ricochet throw Ali off the top causing Ali to backflip and land on his feet, only for Ricocheg to immediately follow up with a Shooting Star Press to a standing Ali. God bless.
Jeff Hardy meanwhile is clearly running out a contract and lost to the returning Jinder Mahal, who is now flanked by the baseball guy from Indus Sher (now Veer) and a guy named Shanky, last seen on Superstar Spectacle earlier in the year. I have nothing else to say about this — I just want you to know I know.
Rating:3.0 / 5.0
NXT UK (5/6/21)
NXT UK keeps pushing. The main event saw Kenny Williams beat Amir Jordan in a Loser Leaves NXT UK match, and it was not exactly Reigns/Bryan. Amir sold his arm well enough and did a neat one-armed Swanton before the show ended with him in tears.
They’re doing a solid job building Ilja Dragunov as a monster and Nathan Frazer as a likable upstart. Ilja hit Dave Mastiff so hard their match was stopped, and Frazer trading lines with Noam Dar was rare good comedy in WWE.
Tyler Bate and A-Kid reflected on their previous matches in advance of their next one, and big Saxon Huxley did an elbow drop off the apron before he lost to Trent Seven.
The women’s division was all promos for the 5-Way Match this week before Amale attacked Xia Brookside backstage and vaccinated her from the match.
Rating:2.0 / 5.0
SMACKDOWN (5/7/21)
There was nothing throwback or retro about this SmackDown besides graphics and Michael Cole’s denim jacket, but the blue team stacked a show again this week and tied it together by bringing Jimmy Uso back and telling a story all show with mostly well-acted scenes throughout the show.
It looks like Roman Reigns might have to teach Jimmy to bow down to his Tribal Chief soon, but he’s got Cesaro next because Cesaro beat Seth Rollins in a fun sprint of an opener. It’s all connected and whatnot; I’m not used to this.
Like Sasha, Bayley’s obnoxious laugh has quickly gone from silly to memorable and she should probably just keep the Robert Plant look she had going this week.
A 10-man tag on this show was a good idea, not because it’s a throwback but just because 10-man tags are good ideas. It had plenty of the usual but also Chad Gable giving Kevin Owens a German suplex on the floor and Nakamura crushing Sami Zayn with a Kinshasa. I dug the promos beforehand too, especially Apollo Crews being the promo guy over Corbin.
There was also some crap. Carmella tapped Ruby Riott in a minute; Tamina wrestled Reginald. Dominik Mysterio scored a win over Dolph Ziggler, but with a rollup and in two minutes.
Show came around and ended with Jimmy not bowing down yet and Cesaro hulking out on the Bloodline. Very cool.
Rating:4.0 / 5.0
205 LIVE (5/7/21)
The 205 Live Superstar Initiative (not real) led me to seeing for the first time the former Alex Zayne wrestle, now going by Ari Sterling. He seems like a capable high-flyer though as per usual it will take something special to stand out on this show. I saw Jiro Ikeman wrestle for the first time too, though Captain Lou prepped me enough. I can tell you he definitely did not say “Prepare to be entertained!” as Nigel McGuinness did when Jiro emerged from the curtain.
Rating:2.75 / 5.0