It’s not an error — welcome to a mid-week edition of Happy Wrestling Land, The Newsletter! We went every other week last week and this week we are going twice a week because sometimes you just have to catch up.
Last Sunday’s NXT TakeOver: In Your House and this past Sunday’s Hell in a Cell are both covered here along with Captain Lou’s Round 1 coverage of the 2021 King of DDT tournament. Your Ol’ Dad is back too with tournament coverage of a different tournament: All Japan’s Champion Carnival 1991!
NXT TakeOver: In Your House (6/13/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
Wrasslin’ With Ol’ Dad: AJPW Champion Carnival 1991 - Codysseus
DDT King of DDT Round 1 (6/10/21) - Captain Lou
Working Man’s WWE TV Review (6/13/21 - 6/19/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
AEW Dynamite Performance Review (6/18/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 (6/20/21) - Dum Dum Daniels
Happy Thoughts – NXT TakeOver: In Your House 2021 (6/13/21)
The second NXT TakeOver: In Your House was a lot like the first, a blurry vibe of bright colors and references to the 90s. The bright hues of pink and blue were welcome given NXT’s usual angry yellow vampire aesthetic, but it really needed a Bret Hart match or something to round it out.
Todd Pettengill was the host, and Todd Pettengill is still good at this!
0. Sarray & Zoey Stark vs. Aliyah & Jessie Kamea
This was a dark match uploaded to YouTube the next day, a match where Sarray and Zoey Stark proved what anyone who’s been watching already knows: they are both very good. I’m not sure either has had a bad match on TV actually. The Robert Stone Brand girls played pretty bland foils, though somewhere along the way Aliyah has picked up an edge to her. She ate Sarray’s dropkick in the ropes whole too. **3/4
1. Winner Takes All – NXT North American Title & NXT Tag Team Title: Bronson Reed [c] & MSK [c] vs. Santos Escobar, Joaquin Wilde & Raul Mendoza
Here was a fun bunch of wrestlers doing a fun bunch of wrestling, the type of match they used to rely on to open or close a show before wrestling got more complicated than it already was. MSK and Legado del Fantasma began the match with some of the finest wrestling in wrestling, a group of guys who have had good matches before but saved some of their smoothest and trickiest work together for this particular show. Raul Mendoza went immediately from that to an awesome sequence playing against a brick wall Bronson Reed; combine that and Mendoza’s new hair and this guy was just a star tonight.
There’s an especially wild dive train towards the end and despite that really goofy part where a guy had to jump on another guy to setup a double Samoan drop, the finish wrapped up as any crowd-pleasing show opener or closer should. ***1/2
2. Mercedes Martinez vs. Xia Li w/ Mei Ying & BOA
Here’s a match where they locked up and grappled to the floor right away, then over 7-and-a half minutes just threw down: strikes, suplexes, a slick jumping knee, a back body drop on the floor. They packed a ton in here and Xia Li brought both a pay-per-view performance and pay-per-view look to the dance, though the match also just couldn’t really shake those second match on a TakeOver feels. **1/2
3. Ladder Match – Million Dollar Title: Cameron Grimes vs. LA Knight
The TakeOver ladder match! A ladder match. Another ladder match. Outside of Ted DiBiase and the hilarious joys of Vic Joseph rattling off In Your House gimmick matches as if they were cherished memories of wrestling fans across the world, this was very much another ladder match.
It was Cameron Grimes and LA Knight’s biggest NXT spot yet and they absolutely bumped their heads off, especially Grimes who went extra ballsy for the final one. But that was kind of all there was. The ladder never felt necessary but without the ladder, I do not know what the match was. Either way, it was a ladder match. **3/4
4. NXT Women’s Title: Raquel Gonzalez [c] w/ Dakota Kai vs. Ember Moon
Ember Moon deserves all the stars for going at this with way more energy than WWE put into the build-up, but after it settled down it became a match more about highlights than anything that felt TakeOver caliber. Gonzalez’ Canadian backbreaker into powerbomb was something different, while highlights included Ember doing a tornado DDT to Raquel on the entrance ramp and Shotzi Blackheart returning to throw poor Dakota Kai through the In Your house plants. **3/4
5. Fatal 5-Way Match – NXT Title: Karrion Kross [c] w/ Scarlett vs. Kyle O’Reilly vs. Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano vs. Pete Dunne
This reminded me of the Halftime Heat 6-man NXT did a few years ago, the fellas just doing all of it for half an hour. They never really lost their mojo either even if any NXT match will absolutely have five moments that have you questioning just who is in charge here. Everybody went at it with a TakeOver-level motivation if not atmosphere, spots delivered with a reckless abandon but also flowing from one to the next as if they came from a well-oiled — maybe even automated — machine. It was a fun if not forgettable TakeOver main event, which has kind of been the thing for a while. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: The opener and main event are fun, but this was another miss from USA Network NXT. None of the matches were explicitly bad, but William Regal’s apparent resignation at the end of the show was by far the most interesting thing that happened. 2.0 / 5.0
Wrasslin’ With Ol’ Dad: AJPW Champion Carnival 1991
3/4/1991 – World Tag Team Titles – Steve Williams & Terry Gordy (c) vs Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue
Jumbo and Taue try to win the titles that Misawa and Kawada were unable to in February. This had a much more standard sort of format to it. Taue gets beaten down and bloodied (aaagain), hot tags were teased, Jumbo eventually cleans house with jumping knees, lariats, and, OH~! fist pumps. It wasn’t as good as the Misawa/Kawada challenge, they didn’t quite reach the dramatic heights of that match, but overall it was still a good time.
Everyone seemed to have fun, which is really the most important thing. ***¼
3/26/1991 – Jumbo Tsuruta vs Cactus Jack – Champion Carnival
6 minutes of FUN. Jack has great headbutts, tosses Jumbo out of the ring to brawl and gets hucked over the railing in a spectacular Foley fashion. Jack does some of his usual exposed concrete bumps, hitting an elbow drop off the apron, getting back suplexed, before taking a hell of a thud from a Jumbo lariat off the apron. This was a great time and makes me wish Foley would’ve had a nice long run in All Japan. ***1/4
3/29/1991 – Mitsuharu Misawa vs Johnny Ace – Champion Carnival
Not great, folks. They weren’t really on the same page and Johnny didn’t light the world on fire when he was in control for an extended period of time. **
4/6/1991 – Jumbo Tsuruta vs Toshiaki Kawada – Champion Carnival
Oooh, mama. So, these guys are good. I’d be hard pressed to name another wrestler that I like more than either of these two, so this is a treat.
They both get so much out of everything they do and have such attention to detail. Jumbo gets the crowd to pop mid match by the spiteful, extra bit of torque he puts into the toehold portion of his STF when countering Kawada’s heel hook. Kawada holds onto a headlock for a bit too long and gets tossed halfway across the ring. He annoys Jumbo with step-kicks and gets a knee crusher onto a table. This eventually sets up Kawada hurting himself with a jumping high kick, to the point where he’s unable to really take advantage.
What a thing to see two wrestlers who are this good at selling. It’s not just that they make it believable, which they do. It’s not just Jumbo shaking out his leg after a big ol’ knee lift, which is always great. It’s how they both seem to have this sense of timing where they’re down writhing around in pain or slowly working their way back up to their feet and they linger juuust enough to deepen their hooks in the crowd before moving on to the next thing. It’s remarkable how much they get out of so few wrasslin’ moves at the end of the match. Outstanding. **** ½
4/16/1991 – Jumbo Tsuruta vs Stan Hansen – Champion Carnival Final
Here they go again! We know Jumbo’s not afraid to stand and fight with Stan Hansen. He even makes Stan retreat for a breather at one point here. The story of the last several months in All Japan, has been the conflict between the rise of Misawa to near-top guy status and Jumbo Tsuruta’s emphatic refusal to concede his spot as THE top guy. It’s a classic story, but one that is turned into something truly special by the talent involved and how clearly it is told.
It’s obvious that Hansen knows how good Jumbo is, the level of desperation that he shows in not letting Jumbo do what he wants on offense says a whole hell of a lot. When stand directs the action outside of the ring in this match, I didn’t get the sense that it was just Stan being Stan, it seemed like it was out of necessity.
This was every bit as fun as their match from earlier in the year. When Hansen gets Jumbo in a leglock, he lies in rapid-fire punches to Jumbo’s leg, cause he’s Stan Hansen, he likes hurting people, and you take every advantage you can get with Jumbo Tsuruta. When Jumbo comes back with similar fire, I’m left wondering if there’s anything our man can’t do.
Hansen eventually hits the Western Lariat, but Jumbo survives even that. He then matches Hansen’s level of wild violence by rolling down his knee pad prior to his Jumping Knee. It’s this willingness to meet Stan on his own terms that allows Jumbo to pick up the win.
Jumbo is the champion of the carnival. ****
Captain Lou’s Review: DDT King of DDT 2021 – Round 1 (6/10/2021)
Toru Owashi, Danshoku Dino, Kazuki Hirata, Antonio Honda & Gota Hihashi vs. Yusuke Okada, Yukio Naya, Yuki Iino, Hideki Okatani & Yuya Koroku
A baptism by fire for young Yuya Koroku, who became a full-fledged DDT roster member today when his head was inserted deeply inside Danshoku Dino’s butt hole. Welcome to the big leagues, kid. *1/2
HARASHIMA vs. Makoto Oishi – King of DDT (Round 1)
This reminded me of HARASHIMA’s recent tussle with Sakaguchi, except better. Same kind of shooty sparring match vibe, all matwork and leglock reversals. Oishi’s creative mind was a bonus here, as he kept finding clever new ways to trap the Harasheemster in the Fujiyama kneelock (including a very cool leg-hooked Flatliner thing). HARASHIMA is always fascinating to watch in this environment – his legitimacy still makes him stand out from the Takeshita’s and Endo’s of the DDT universe. Plus, I’m always up for a good ol’ Somato outta’ nowhere finish. ***
Yukio Sakaguchi vs. Yuji Hino – King of DDT (Round 1)
Welcome to the Slug Festival. On the main stage today, a Yakuza shooter taking on a sarcastic beefcake in a fight to the death. Loved everything about this flesh-ripping banger loaded with fun character work. Hino trying to get cute with the leg chops early on and eating a barrage of kicks told the whole story. Big man’s been munching on easy prey since returning to DDT – easily dispatching Yuki Iino throughout their midcard feud and fucking around with Sauna Club the rest of the time. Excluding the tag league, Sakaguchi was Hino’s first real challenge and the burly chop-thrower had to step up his game. They beat the living hell out of each other with their respective weapons (chops and kicks), Yukio even partaking in the always tender NO HANDS CHALLENGE. Beyond all the hard shots, the match followed a tight shooter vs. power fighter inner logic that remained compelling from bell to bell. Total blast. ***3/4
Soma Takao vs. MAO – King of DDT (Round 1)
A surprisingly fun time that played to both wrestlers’ strengths and sent the right guy off to the second round. Soma’s heeling can be a drag in certain contexts, but it totally worked here as he mostly focused on grumpy veteran shtick and put some extra mustard on all of his forearms. MAO more than held up his end by playing the consummate babyface, working the crowd like a pro during his comebacks and peppering the match with all sorts of wild high spots. So much cool 90’s lucharesu throwback offense from this high-flying dork – first putting respect on Super Delfin’s name by throwing out a naaaasty Osaka Rinkai Upper and then going full murder with a 2nd-rope Michinoku Driver II finish. ***1/2
Konosuke Takeshita vs. Akito – King of DDT (Round 1)
Much better than the uneventful match these two had during the D-Oh Grand Prix last year. Takeshita is always down to just try shit, so here he tried his hand at the Akito-style ground grapple-fest and it went pretty well. No other major league Pure-O-Resew Ace would bother to bust out that sweet Gory Special pinning combo. Some solid matwork gave way to a bunch of crafty counters and Scorpion deathlockery. I dug it. Both guys pointing skywards while doing the Scorpion seemed to be a reference to SOMETHING but I am at a loss. Please hit me up on Twitter with all the answers. Anyway, some fine technical wrasslin’ action. The right kind of match to introduce Take’s new chickenwing thingy. ***1/4
Daisuke Sasaki vs. Yuki Ueno – King of DDT (Round 1)
Ueno’s been busting his ass so much lately that I don’t really mind him getting taken out of the tournament early. Gotta give the kid a break at some point. Plus, they found a somewhat reasonable way to protect him in defeat. I am of course referring to: shenaniganz. **
Jun Akiyama vs. Shunma Katsumata – King of DDT (Round 1)
Most of Akiyama’s DDT run has been about him bringing his no non-sense All Japan classicism into foreign indie territory. Like the title defense against Dino, this fun little number turned the tables on Uncle Jun and threw him right into unhinged Dramatic Dream Team insanity. Katsumata, the world’s most powerful Little Rascal, unloaded all of his Lego pranks and assorted babyface comebacks at the champ and it made for one hell of a fun time. Ever the professional, Akiyama struck the perfect balance between playing along with the wackiness and putting the trickster right back in his place when it was time to do so. Honestly, I would’ve taken a lot more of this. ***1/4
Kazusada Higuchi vs. Naomi Yoshimura – King of DDT (Round 1)
These guys absolutely tore into each other throughout one of my favorite matches from last year and it didn’t take long for them to get right back into it. My friends, chops were thrown and asses were kicked. Yoshimura got to lead a hefty chunk of the match and it offered a pretty satisfying glimpse at his progress. Not only did he look confident manhandling a bruiser like The Gooch, but he actively contributed a ton of quality content. The Zeus-style bear hug suplex ruled and so did that chinlock spot where he just enthusiastically started bashing on Higuchi. I have always been PRO-FACE CLAW, but the way Yoshimura reacted to it here brought it up to another level. First with the panicked selling and then desperately trying to power his way out of it – beautiful meathead wrasslin’. ***1/2
Tetsuya Endo vs. Chris Brookes – King of DDT (Round 1)
I was ready to throw all the stars at this before they went overboard with the indie overkill non-sense during the ending stretch. Still, probably the most focused Chris Brookes match since his arrival in DDT and one of Endo’s better 2021 performances. As much as Brookes likes to embrace different styles (hardcore wrestling, comedy, etc.), the quintessentially British arm work is what he does best. His persistence and clever cut-offs anchored the match in solid fashion, making a compelling babyface out of brooding high-flyer Endo. The Damnation heart rob brought the selling and timed his comebacks really well for most of this. I was on the edge of my seat when Brookes cranked up the dickishness near the end, but the Destroyer-heavy finish and awkward mouth headbutt counters couldn’t quite live up to all the tension they had built up. Nonetheless, a frequently very, very good wrestling match. ***3/4
Working Man’s WWE TV Review: 6/13/21 – 6/19/21
Last Sunday was TakeOver: In Your House, this Sunday is Hell in a Cell, and Samoa Joe is back as the Assistant GM in NXT.
There was a Hell in a Cell on Friday too and Noam Dar has a new t-shirt. Is business picking up? I have no idea anymore.
Working Man’s Recap
Good Work: Kofi Kingston, Samoa Joe, KUSHIDA, Nathan Frazer, Sami Zayn, Tony Nese
World: RAW Still Sucks, Samoa Joe Returns, KUSHIDA’s Cruiserweight Open Challenge, The Tribal Chief & The Usos
Wrestling: Tornado Tag Team Match: Tommaso Ciampa & Timothy Thatcher vs. The Grizzled Young Veterans (NXT 6/15/21), Hell in a Cell – WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Rey Mysterio (SmackDown 6/18/21)
Entertainment: Samoa Joe returns to NXT (NXT 6/15/21), Sami Zayn reacts to Kevin Owens being laid out (SmackDown 6/18/21)
RAW (6/14/21)
In what should not be a surprise, RAW continued to be bad this week.
The territory died months ago so you’re just hoping for highlights. New Day vs. RK-Bro had some pep, as did Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka.
Jeff Hardy putting up his career on the line against Cedric Alexander felt as important as Elias choosing to get counted out against Jaxson Ryker.
Failed ace Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles was the main event until it became a 6-man tag with Bobby Lashley, Omos and the Viking Raiders. WWE not filling up the Thunderdome PPV’s means we’re going to stretch out and wait until we see the Raiders get their Tag Title shot… until it randomly opens RAW in a couple weeks probably. So. It. Goes….
Rating:1.5 / 5.0
NXT (6/15/21)
Two brands are relied on to introduce new WWE signees: 205 Live and KUSHIDA’s Cruiserweight Title. KUSHIDA vs. Trey Baxter (the former Blake Christian renamed extra generically) was a fine introduction to young Baxter, perhaps more notable for Kyle O’Reilly moving on from the main event and scouting KUSHIDA.
Between this and Samoa Joe, it was the least bleak NXT in a bit. Right: Samoa Joe returned to WWE this week a couple months after being released, albeit now as NXT co-GM and not RAW commentator. Perhaps there are issues with him choking out Adam Cole or the confusing nature of his re-emergence, but the endgame of Joe as new Bill Watts seems positive. Maybe.
Cameron Grimes came to the rescue of Ted DiBiase after LA Knight made a pretty telegraphed turn on the old man, rendering the Ladder Match at TakeOver extra pointless. Breezango upset Imperium then got a flag draped over them; Raquel Gonzalez & Io Shirai vs. Kayden Carter & Kacy Catanzaro went a couple commercials.
The main event was Tommaso Ciampa & Timothy Thatcher vs. The Grizzled Young Veterans in a Tornado Tag Match, and it delivered whatever it was promising. Chaotic fun was one of the more preferred styles from the COVID era.
Rating:3.0 / 5.0
MAIN EVENT (6/16/21)
T-BAR & MACE worked a hilariously competitive match with Lucha House Party this week, like they were instructed to prove they could do it but probably got themselves pushed even further off TV by actually trying it. Ricochet downed Drew Gulak in the mid-range 205 Live main event.
Rating:3.0 / 5.0
NXT UK (6/17/21)
“Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Not this little piggy!” That’s how Sam Gradwell kicked off this week’s show prior to his match with Wolfgang and it kind of ruled, but then the bell rang and they wrestled and Wolfgang won.
With Meiko Satomura winning the NXT UK Women’s Title last week and WALTER preparing for his next once-a-quarter challenge, this was a slower week than usual. Kenny Williams is acting crazy, Noam Dar has a new t-shirt, and Jordan Devlin (in tight white pants) confronted A-Kid (in stylish turtleneck).
There is a Triple Threat between Ilja Dragunov, Rampage Brown and Joe Coffey next week for some reason, so they did a sit-down back-and-forth. Immediately after, Mark Coffey tried to stir shit with Sha Samuels backstage. NXT UK has many things to address, but Joe and Mark Coffey segments back-to-back should be #1 on things not to do — I watch this every week and still could barely tell them apart.
Nathan Frazer vs. Rohan Raja was a full WWE young lions and way more than anyone might expect. Frazer is impressive as both a fiery underdog and confident veteran even at age 22, while I thought Raja weirdly stood out getting squashed by Teoman a couple months back and here he was again pulling this off: competitive hold-trading, wild flying, a finish that didn’t feel contrived – good stuff.
Flash Morgan Webster & Dani Luna vs. Joseph Conners & Jinny was your main event.
Rating:2.5 / 5.0
SMACKDOWN (6/18/21)
Roman tried to be diplomatic.
WWE announced the Roman Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio Hell in a Cell Match planned for Sunday was moving up two days and going to be on SmackDown. I was definitely looking forward to seeing feud this play out on Father’s Day of all days, but in the Nothing Matters era the move was just another one of those things. The match was still fun, realistically as good as Storyteller Roman and Stem Cell Mysterio were probably going to pull off without a live crowd hanging on everything. Rey brought all the pain he could at Roman with weapons and tools before Roman started beating ass. In the era of crash pads and crazy bumps, the powerbomb from inside the ring to the Cell wall was an incredible way to close up too.
The opening tag (Kevin Owens/Big E vs. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez) was more about Sami Zayn being a total goof, extra expressive as he entered on commentary then practically horny as he watched Owens writhe in pain after the match.
Shinsuke Nakamura beat King Corbin in a Battle for the Crown, Bayley stepped on Bianca Belair‘s ponytail, and Cesaro pushed Seth Rollins over in a chair.
Rating:4.0 / 5.0
205 LIVE (6/18/21)
205 Live’s roster has been casually replenished, though I’m not sure what that means for the other guys. Where’s Curt Stallion been?
I either hate or love new guy Grayson Waller and there won’t be an in-between. He gets points for his stupid poses; he loses points for doing a roll-through Stunner.
Messy headscissors off the apron and some general hesitancy aside, Ikeman Jiro had his first standout match in WWE with low key MVP Tony Nese: slick kick setups, great near falls, and quality jacket spots.
Rating:2.75 / 5.0
Working Man’s Satisfaction: 55% [+4%]
Performance Review – AEW Dynamite (6/18/21)
“We’ve been carrying this company so that boys like you can have options!” – Santana & Ortiz
The Daily’s Place Dynamite era has certainly had its’ slow times, but a temporary switch to Friday nights has compounded the Patience Testing. The NBA post-season being more interesting than wrestling for people shouldn’t be surprising, but it being more interesting for me — the buffoon that writes these weekly — probably should be. I’m over here thinking about NBA free agency and the Phoenix Suns while AEW continues to be be fly frozen in amber type stuff.
The World
The only acts really popping off the screen right now are Miro and Darby Allin – everybody else feels lost within the Daily’s Place Dynamite era, something that was working for a while as a TV show until they made two more TV shows.
The Pinnacle vs. Inner Circle rivalry is separating into individual feuds and an attempt was finally made this week at heating up Sammy Guevara, Santana & Ortiz. These are welcome developments even if the saga to get there was occasionally horrendous.
The show kicked off with Jake Hager putting Wardlow to sleep though, and right after I had to realize that Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky‘s tag team name is “Men of the Year.” The hell?
Cody Rhodes and The Elite feel like they’re working on side projects not wrestling feuds, while Andrade el Idolo‘s sit-down with Jim Ross came off so flat it made me uncomfortable. Maybe that was the edibles.
Britt Baker‘s world feels non-existent, Smart Mark Sterling has somehow cooled off Jade Cargill, and Christian Cage got locked in a cage. Call me when crowds are back.
Performance: 2.75 / 5.0 (ALL OVER THE PLACE)
The Wrestling
Cage match, handicap match, debut match, squash match, and a 6-man main event… this was a show filled with TV wrestling matches if not a show that felt completely like TV wrestling.
MMA Rules Cage Fight: Jake Hager vs. Wardlow – On occasion Wardlow looked like a total goofball jumping around and doing pro wrestling moves within the Cage, not because it was MMA Rules but because he’s freaking Wardlow. Otherwise this was alright, 5 minutes or so of semi-authentic feeling Cage Fighting. I can’t in good faith support Hager choking out Wardlow, but the match was pretty much all Wardlow doing cool stuff so I think he’ll be fine.
Handicap Match: Darby Allin vs. Scorpio Sky & Ethan Page – This was pretty awesome, packed with great-looking (painful) offense and cut-offs opposite the top babyface on the roster. Darby played both face-in-peril and hot tag guy like a superstar and clearly has an agreement with Page where they can just mess each other up with all sorts of creative slams on a man’s spine.
Orange Cassidy vs. Cezar Bononi – So much unnecessary bullshit with “The Wingmen” that they hit some kind of bullshit inception and the match wrapped up really fun. The way big Cezar quickly got in place for Orange’s signature spots was genuinely impressive too.
Cody Rhodes & Brock Anderson w/ Arn Anderson vs. QT Marshall & Aaron Solow – This was probably as restrained as AEW gets in 2021 and it still had Cody Rhodes doing a Panama Sunrise. Anderson the Younger made his debut and nearly dropped Solow on a gutwrench suplex but otherwise delivered the hairy territory nostalgia vibes necessary, throwing his dukes up and taking heat and eventually scoring a jackknife cradle upset.
Eddie Kingston, Penta El Zero Miedo & Frankie Kazarian vs. Matt Jackson & The Good Brothers – This was kind of any other house show match but Eddie Kingston was having fun, folks. The Bullet Club has arrived in AEW but it’s like 2020 Bullet Club.
Performance: 3.0 / 5.0 (FINE)
The Entertainment
Miro comes off like a scary bad man and even though he beat up both Varsity Blonds, it still felt like he ganged up on them. Penelope Ford squashing Julia Hart to set the attack up was one of the more inspired creative bits on a show that’s been pretty flat for a while.
Too many Wingmen, too many pre-tapes, and maybe too much scripting.
The Cage Match and Handicap Matches were fun.
Performance: 3.0 / 5.0 (JUST FINE)
My Favorite Things
Brock Anderson puts his dukes up
Wardlow catches Jake Hager’s kick and swats him down
Ethan Page deadlifts Darby Allin off the mat and slams him down
Room for Improvement
Give Britt Baker something to actually do
Somebody talk to Kenny Omega
Make The Factory Interesting Again
Top 10 Dynamite Stars
Miro (-)
Darby Allin (-)
Eddie Kingston (4)
Hangman Page (5)
Britt Baker (3)
Kenny Omega (-)
Cody Rhodes (10)
Orange Cassidy (-)
Santana & Ortiz (NEW)
Sammy Guevara (NEW)
5 to Keep an Eye on
Brock Anderson
Penelope Ford
Kris Statlander
Alan “5” Angels
JD Drake
Performance Review: 58% [-3%]
Happy Thoughts - WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 (6/20/21)
The worst thing about WWE being on Peacock now is how prominent it is on our cable box, so while I’m being a normie and watching TV with my wife she gets to go: “…Hell in a Cell?” all sarcastically and I have to respond and whatnot. Just embarrassing.
The hour-long Kickoff hosts didn’t have anything to talk about when WWE was moderately trying, and here they are in the Thunderdome still improvising takes on stories that don’t warrant them. Lawler, JBL and Rosenberg cracking jokes while Kayla Braxton keeps everyone on track is the worst energy too.
0. Natalya w/ Tamina vs. Mandy Rose w/ Dana Brooke
Each WWE Women’s Tag Team Title feud continues to be more of a puzzle than the last, and this one brings us shoot-style Mandy Rose doing a bodyscissors and guillotine choke. They got time and had some real stuff planned out here, but it kept feeling more like workshopping than wrestling. **
Good bit early on where I’m pretty sure Michael Cole and Pat McAfee were reading off an early script and put over how Rey Mysterio has never been in a Cell match before they got real quiet and moved on.
1. Hell in a Cell – SmackDown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair [c] vs. Bayley
“Shut up, Michael! They know. They watch me.”
Bianca Belair and Bayley are two of the best wrestlers in WWE not just because they can work, brother, but because they still do interesting shit – even when working with an uninteresting gimmick. They didn’t add much to Hell in a Cell canon, but they did have a pretty great match of good vs. evil where evil Bayley was a total psychopath: laying all her stuff in, yelling at Michael Cole, and just biting it anytime it was her turn to bump. The spinebuster through the double kendo sticks both looked like it hurt real bad and was an awesome comeback spot for Belair. They didn’t hit the epic heights of the previous three women’s Hell in a Cell matches, but like those it was a lot better than nearly all of the men’s efforts in a long time. ***1/2
2. Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins
Seth attacking Cesaro during his entrance brought a new vibe to a rivalry and match that likely peaked at WrestleMania, and they kind of proved that as the match settled down into a pretty normal WWE structure. Cesaro and Rollins work well together and make everything from a Rainmaker to Randy Orton powerslam make sense, but other than length it didn’t feel a lot different than their rematch on SmackDown. Seth Rollins is finally learning the power of hitting hard at least, a decade into his big run — the responsibilities of fatherhood change us in many ways. ***
3. Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax and Reginald
The name “Hell in a Cell” is ridiculous as it is, but here was Shayna Baszler working an armbar opposite an Alexa Bliss that is really committed to this creepy and cringey character. The match ended after Nia Jax got possessed and Alexa did the Twisted Bliss splash off the top rope on Shayna. *1/2
4. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn
Sometimes when you are bound to do this forever, you have a pay-per-view match with somersault sentons to the floor and half-nelson suplexes all designed to put over Commander Azeez’ new finisher. I’m not even saying that’s a bad thing – this was a fun bunch of their greatest hits, just like the WrestleMania match. Extra nasty kick to the face for the finish too. ***1/4
5. RAW Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley [c] vs. Charlotte Flair
I liked their match for the NXT Women’s Title at WrestleMania 36, an early example of how it was possible to adapt to an empty arena before the Thunderdome appeared: physical work treated seriously in pursuit of a championship. This was not that. This was just a not good wrestling match, a bunch of main roster-inspired ideas in search of their professional wrestling purpose before Charlotte got DQ’d. There was the framework of an OK match but it just kept getting messy. **
6. Hell in a Cell – WWE Title: Bobby Lashley [c] w/ MVP vs. Drew McIntyre
Roman Reigns/Jey Uso, Bayley/Sasha, and Bayley/Belair — these were quality recent trips to Hell in a Cell. With Drew McIntyre involved though, it’s just the same thing that’s been done so many times before — crashes into the cage, cuts of the skin… this is pretty visceral stuff, but the way it’s approached is just a re-enforcement of the lack of ideas permeating through the WWE main event scene. I’d bet good money that Disco Inferno would have positive things to say about this match, a battle between two real heavyweight wrestlers — and at some level, he’s right. But mostly wrong. **3/4
Happy Thoughts: I am tired of saying the same things about Thunderdome pay-per-views, but: good wrestling, weird environment, too much trash. Bring back the humans. 3.0 / 5.0