Hi!
How’s it going?
Good to see you.
The whole gang has been back in some form or another over the last couple months. This issue includes Season 2 of How I Met Your Puroresu, more All Japan with Ol’ Dad, and Captain Lou’s journey to North America.
WWE Royal Rumble 2022 (1/29/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
Black Label Pro – Professional Wrestling (Mikey’s Version) (2/19/22) - Captain Lou
Ol’ Dad Still Enjoys Ol’ All Japan - Codysseus
West Coast Pro – The Art of Drowning (2/11/22) - Captain Lou
DDT Ultimate Tag League 2022 – Finals (2/27/22) - Captain Lou
Stardom 11th Anniversary Nagoya Supreme Fight (1/29/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
WWE Elimination Chamber 2022 (2/19/22) - Dum Dum Daniels
How I Met Your Puroresu: S2 E1 - Robert McCaulley
WWE Royal Rumble 2022 (1/29/22): There Used To Be A Method To This
Some say it’s about the numbers, but what about the feelings? The curiosity of renting VHS tapes at Blockbuster Video. The comfort of watching PPV’s with dad. Bonds forged with new friends. Being excited about the possibilities. Being surprised. Being disappointed. Amusement over being disappointed. Amusement over how consistent the disappointment is. Just not giving a shit. It’s the thirty-fifth annual ROYAL RUMBLE!
1. WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns [c] vs. Seth Freakin’ Rollins
Despite the uninspired nature of how it came together, this match had a lot going for it: tight runtime, opening match atmosphere in a big stadium, and Seth is just undeniably good at looking credible against a big fella while keeping the match bumping. It also happened to be a one-on-one championship contest between two recipients of some of the last actual WWE Pushes. From Seth’s entrance through the table powerbomb and fist bump, The Shield references were well-placed and kind of awesome while the finish was brilliant in its own little demoralizing way. ****
2. 30-Woman Royal Rumble
This delivered as advertised, a fun mix of nostalgia and FUN~! plus some missed opportunities and ring rust.
Sailor Moon Sasha Banks was the perfect #1 for both pop and ability to go the distance, but #2 Melina felt like someone that could’ve showed up a little later. #3 was Tamina and #4 was another return for Kelly Kelly. And so we began. Aliyah, Liv Morgan, Queen Zelina, Bianca Belair, Dana Brooke, and Michelle McCool followed for the first 10. Liv was around for a while but never really did anything.
11 – 20 were Sonya Deville, Natalya, Cameron, Naomi, Carmella, Rhea Ripley, Charlotte Flair, Ivory, Brie Bella, and the Impact Women’s Champion Mickie James. Ivory in the Right to Censor gimmick ended up the best bit by sheer force of commitment. The bummer in me wants to say the comedy spot shouldn’t be the best part of the match but the microphone gold just kept going. Brie Bella and the YES chants was fantastic, and Sonya’s bits with Cameron and Naomi were well-done too.
The last 10 were the returning Alicia Fox, Nikki A.S.H., Summer Rae, Nikki Bella, Sarah Logan, Lita, Mighty Molly (good bit with A.S.H.), Ronda Rousey, Shotzi and Shayna Baszler. Logan roared back into the WWE like a returning legend despite feeling like she was released last week; time is a mere opinion. Speaking of: Ronda and Shayna reuniting was amazing. They mostly stuck the landing too. ***1/2
3. RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Doudrop
One of those matches where they slowed it all down, or maybe it just seemed that way because it wasn’t good. The crowd went from uninterested to distracted by a sign on fire, and by the time Becks dropped Doo-Doo with an avalanche-style Rock Bottom the possibilities for engagement had disappeared. **1/4
4. WWE Title: Brock Lesnar [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Bobby Lashley w/ MVP
Brock and Bobby are in their The Expendables era, Schwarzenegger and Stallone past their primes providing occasional fun if not anything good or worthwhile or memorable or even better than a couple Goldberg matches. Suplex City, you know? **3/4
5. Edge & Beth Phoenix vs. The Miz & Maryse
Maryse is practically Shawn Michaels-esque in re-defining her legacy over the back half of a career, but otherwise this was a match that was advertised as The IT Couple vs. The GRIT Couple. ***
6. 30-Man Royal Rumble
With a few exceptions, the last decade of Royal Rumbles — a challenging match to piece together yet one with the most accepting and forgiving possible of viewer (we just want surprizes!) — have felt like a group project that nobody took lead on until the last second.
There used to be a method to this. An attempt at something.
AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakmaura were a strong #1 and #2, even if they never managed to have that good match together in WWE. Golden boy Austin Theory, lifer-or-not Robert Roode, Ridge Holland, Montez Ford, Damian Priest, and Sami Zayn followed to get to silver-haired Johnny Knoxville’s cameo at #9 where he traded stiff shots with AJ Styles. Like really. I dunno. Angelo Dawkins was #10.
There was a winner. A Champion. The winner would wrestle the Champion.
Omos (big!) emerged at #11, then Ricochet, Chad Gable, Dominik Mysterio, Happy Corbin, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, Rick Boogs, Madcap Moss, and #20 Riddle followed to fill up the ring with bodies to either eliminate or get eliminated by Omos.
From it emerged a thread to this all. A macro and micro story.
The last 10 were the returning (ish) Drew McIntyre, multi-millionaire Kevin Owens, Rey Mysterio (way after Dominik was gone), Kofi Kingston, Otis, Big E, former 24/7 Champion Bad Bunny, Shane McMahon (memba?), Randy Orton, and Brock god damnit Lesnar. It was a who’s who of who WWE thinks may be important, with the exception of Big E who got tossed like a punk. Kofi flubbing his yearly anti-elimination spot was a drag too, though the pro wrestling love and joy running through Bad Bunny’s veins kind of brought it back.
I’m so fucking sick of Brock Lesnar. **3/4
Happy Thoughts: Great opener, fun Rumble… then they lost it, but kept going another few hours. WWE ends 2 for 2 in 2022 with a cock block from Brock. 1.5 / 5.0
Captain Lou’s Review: Black Label Pro – Professional Wrestling (Mikey’s Version) (2/19/2022)
You already know me as one of the true experts in the field of Pure-O-Resew. Now, like Bowie in ’75, it is time to reinvent myself. For my next act, I will turn into a guy that watches random shit on IWTV. First stop on this midlife crisis trainwreck: beloved midwestern indie Black Label Pro. Am I smart enough to comprehend the subtleties of American wrestling? What is a Warhorse? Will the leg be sold? Let’s find out.
Anthony Henry vs. Tre Lamar
Kicking off the show with young Anthony Henry was a pretty decent way to ease me back into the wacky world of US indies. Japanese influences, shoot-y matwork and Rocky IV soundtrack – guy seems like my kinda guy. Early parts of the match had a clear Pro Wrestling NOAH audition tape vibe, but the later sections slightly fell apart execution-wise.
Rating: Two Kenoh’s Out of Five
Dan The Dad vs. Rohit Raju
In the realm of wrestling gimmicks exclusively designed to pop Wrestling Twitter, Dan The Dad is way up there. The action flew a little better thanks to a clear-cut heel/face dynamic – Raju’s TV-ready preening meshing well with Dan’s New Balance heroics. Big shoutout to the commentary team who sold the shit out of the Dan The Dad character and instantly turned me into a fan.
Rating: I laughed
Anthony Greene vs. Skye Blue
As ‘’Heaven Is A Place on Earth’’ rings out through this humble basketball gym, I can confirm that this show is batting 100 when it comes to entrance themes. Both of these RING WARRIORS recently popped up on AEW programming – a wise bit of B-show booking considering the intergender polish that was shown here. Greene leaned into the more villainous side of his 80’s rocker shtick, letting Blue get all the shine with wise-beyond-her-years babyface high spots.
Rating: FUN
Violence Is Forever (Dominic Garrini & Kevin Ku) © vs. Bang Bros (August Matthews & Davey Bang) – BLP Tag Team Titles
I got some powerful 2003 Ian Rotten Doing BattlARTS flashbacks while watching Violence is Forever. Two scummy indie dudes who watched a bunch of Tenryu matches and can now only express themselves via soccer kicks to the back. I’m into it. The regretfully-named Bang Bros were competent punching bags for the champions’ DVDVR-approved ass whipping. A good time at the matches.
Rating: Did what it had to do
Warhorse vs. Levi Everett
Pretty stunning adaptation of Pauly Shore’s cinematic vision (80’s heavy metal vs. Amish traditionalism), but only okay as a wrestling match. Everett knows how to put a wholesome, butter-churning spin on Godwinns-style wrasslin’ farm work – I’ll give him that. Meanwhile, Warhorse remains a bit of an Internet enigma – A+ entrance but not much else.
Rating: At least as good as Son in Law (1993)
Alex Zayne vs. Dante Martin
Dante’s recent Dynamite growth was on full display here as he struck a nice balance between classic babyfacing and MAD HOPS~! The readjusted springboard splash sequence was fucking incredible. Zayne might be on to something with his Spring Breakers-esque douchebag heel schtick, but his move-set feels like the most generic 2020’s indie grab-bag ever. V-Triggers, cutter variations, apron enzuigiri transitions all over the place. You know the deal. All whining aside, there was still a lot of fun to be had with this one.
Rating: Flippin’ good time
Chase Holiday vs. Alice Crowley vs. Kobe Durst
My most original wrestling opinion is that 3-ways are bad. So, while this didn’t do much for me, big boi Chase Holiday seemed like a dude I would enjoy in a different context. Throws a mean suplex and an even meaner chop. What else do you need from your wrestling? What ELSE!?
Rating: Clusterfucked
Leyla Hirsch vs. Kevin Blackwood
Without turning this review into a 3000-word tirade on intergender wrestling, I’ll just say that I preferred the approach in Greene/Skye. This was more of a straight-up back and forth and favored pure excitement over size difference logic and what have you. Totally does the trick for a live crowd, but I am not part of this crowd. No, I am in front of a computer screen with a notepad, crying angrily over leg selling. We are not the same.
Rating: Need to reflect on it for two more weeks
Rat Daddy vs. Travis Titan
If this match had been a tiny bit more memorable, I would be leading the Rat Daddy stan movement on Twitter right now. The man’s name is Rat Daddy. He’s from Australia. Comes out to a badass Pusha T song. Great fur coat. Even better hair. Sadly, I can barely recall any of the actual wrasslin’. They did moves and someone won.
Rating: Meh
Joshua Bishops vs. Brutus
These guys had the right idea. They did the hoss-fight thing with a lot of chops and meat consumption. Nothing fancy but it mostly worked. Negative: Bishops overestimated his own strength on a few spots and some of his offense ended up flopping. But you know what – it’s the thought that counts.
Rating: BEEFY
Tom Lawlor © vs. Matt Makowski – BLP Midwest Title
Holy mother of fuck. If you’re into the indie sleaze UWF/Bloodsport style of wrestling, this is the match for you. These fellas had themselves a long-form grapplefuck odyssey in a basketball gym and kept it compelling all the way through. They hit hard, rolled around on the mat like people with actual training and best of all: got creative at all the right moments. Makowski kept one-upping himself with all sorts of slick takedowns and Filthy Tom busted out next-level enzuigiri counters like he was main eventing the Tokyo Dome against Josh Barnett in 2003. So much cool shit near the end – what with the wacky top-rope suplex into cross armbreaker from Makowski. EAT YOUR HEART OUT, KENDO KASHIN.
Rating: Watch this shit
1991 All Japan, we go back
I finally wrote enough about wrestling to warrant another post. It’s taken forever. At this rate I’ll have another one up around September.
Misawa/Kawada/Kobashi vs Tsuruta/Taue/Fuchi – 4/20/1991
Welp, this was just The Best. The crowd at Korakuen Hall loves every one of these guys and chants for each one multiple times throughout the match. Everyone looks great. This is as much about Kobashi and Fuchi as Kawada and Taue. It goes in so many different directions and never stops moving forward. It has an absolutely incredible pace that makes 52 minutes seem like 20. Everyone shines and they all seem to revel in pissing each other off.
Taue, specifically, starts the match with something to prove. He knocks a disinterested Toshiaki Kawada off the ring apron 3 times in a row early on, eventually getting a rise out of Kawada. From there, the heat never really dissipates. Just when you think they might be nearing the home stretch of the match, a new story starts to weave its way into the match.
I have a hard time writing about this one, it’s a must-see and an all-time great match. Sometimes something is *so* good and knocks you on your ass. This is that. 5 Stars
Mitsuharu Misawa vs Terry Gordy – 6/1/1991
Between the fantastic tag match with Kawada and Dr. Death a few months previous and this, their first singles match ever, there was a tag match in May. Misawa and Kawada were able to WIN that one, Misawa pinning Dr. Death with a Tiger Driver. It’s apparently only available clipped though and I don’t want to watch it, so here we are!
This was a total slugfest. Both guys take a beating, Gordy bleeds, Misawa breathes audibly, they throw bombs, and have a few very convincing near falls. I love how quickly Gordy is willing to move onto plan B when Misawa blocks or survives plan A. Misawa blocks the powerbomb on the floor? Fine, take a lariat. They trade big moves for a while near the end, but everything makes sense, even if most of the transitions are straightforward and not particularly clever (why should they be! Have you seen Terry Gordy?). There are a couple of neat, thoughtful moments though. Namely; Gordy getting increasingly adept at following Misawa into the turnbuckles after the Irish whip to clobber him before Misawa has the chance to do one of his signature counters. Misawa getting the best near-fall of the match off of a short arm clothesline setup that worked earlier in the match is another high point. It’s all pretty straight forward, but never boring. I LIKE IT. ****
Jumbo Tsuruta/Akira Taue vs Stan Hansen/Danny Spivey – 6/1/1991
They do that thing that I like where Taue is taken out of the match for an extended period of time, so when Jumbo finally makes the tag, it’s DOUBLE HOT. I especially liked Stan getting so fed up with Taue interjecting himself in the match that he follows him back to his corner to hit him with a Western Lariat in the back of the head. SPIVEY SPIKE is a great name for a DDT and Taue gets the glory of kicking out of the first one before succumbing to the second. A fine match. ***
All Japan World Tag Title match Terry Gordy/Steve Williams © vs Mitsuharu Misawa/Toshiaki Kawada – 7/24/1991
Aw yeah. WE’RE BACK. I love watching Dr. Death apply wrestling holds. His mat game here is pretty uh…offbeat, to say the least. The champs try to take Kawada out and isolate Misawa this time. Misawa hurts his knee, which leads to some ripped tights (HE WEARS BLUE KNEEPADS UNDER THE GREEN TIGHTS, FYI), half crabs, and whatever this is:
While the hurt knee does limit Misawa somewhat, he’s still able to swing those elbows and do some crafty counters after Kawada is able to give him a bit of a rest. The crowd is really into this by the end and get sent home happy with the youngsters picking up their first tag titles together. Gooood match, though a bit unfocused when Gordy and Williams are in control. I’m not sure I’d want it any other way. ***½.
Oh, Missy got boogs.
Captain Lou’s Review: West Coast Pro – The Art of Drowning (2/11/2022)
Sad fact: I’ve never been to the west coast of the United States. I’ve only ever known California through movies and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Would love to visit LA and get caught up in some weirdo David Lynch noir plot. Until then, I’ll have to settle with West Coast Pro Wrestling to experience the Californian lifestyle.
Steven Tresario vs. Gringo Loco vs. Nick Wayne
3-way matches: the bane of all indie wrestling shows. I know you’ve got to get all of your people on the card, but it’s time to try something new. Just dump ‘em all in a big battle royal, I don’t know. The longer this went, the more I felt myself turning into Jim Cornette. Not a pleasant feeling. Don’t want to rag on Nick Wayne because he’s literally 16 years old, but the AEW contract is kind of a head scratcher.
Rating: Three’s company
Rickey Shane Page, Atticus Cogar & Bobby Beverly vs. Midas Kreed, Alpha Zo & D-Rogue
Still too long, but at least you had some bad guys doing villainous shit and babyfaces making hot tags. Yep, I’m about ready to cash in my pension. RSP stole the show with his smirking heel schtick and the Conglomerate brought the high energy comebacks.
Rating: Allright
B-Boy vs. Vinnie Massaro
Two veterans who know how to put a wrasslin’ match together doing just that. They mostly stuck to the basics – a refreshing strategy considering the movez-heavy approach on this show. Massaro came off as a tough old Japanese wrestling midcarder and I mean that in the best possible way. Seeing B-Boy back in action brought back memories of those early Rev Pro tapes (SoCal version) that introduced the Internet to Super Dragon and company. Time is a flat circle, etc.
Rating: Solid!
Masha Slamovich vs. Nicole Savoy vs. Kylie Rae vs. Rachael Ellering
This started off all over the map, but the car crash factor eventually became part of the appeal. All four got over organically and the Ode to 1999 WWF sequence helped put everything over the top.
Rating: Harmless fun
Davey Richards vs. Kevin Blackwood
The HWL US indie trek project is mostly a bad idea until stuff like this comes up. Blackwood appeared in my Black Label Pro review, having a vanilla back and forth with LEGIT LEYLA, of all people. Taking the hard-nosed, mat-based route with Richards was a much better look for him and now I’m thinking there might be something to this kid.
I missed the entire ROH run that put Richards on the map, but I recall much Internet snark about his over-seriousness. Truth be told, he looked head and shoulders above anyone on this card up to this point. Pure ring polish coupled with the kind of Dynamite Kid intensity that can only mean the guy is a total sociopath. Love that shit. The kicks landed right on the money and so did that brilliantly-executed rollup finish.
Rating: Helluva’ match
Blake Christian vs. Titus Alexander
Another good one. High-flyin’ Blake Christian very much looked like a guy who would’ve been called up for a Dragon Gate tour back in the pre-COVID timeline. Ridiculous speed + high-level execution and creativity. If you’re a fan of what is commonly known as Cool Shit, you’re likely going to dig this youngster. Alexander had the timing and heel cutoffs down, but would benefit from playing up the douchebaggery even more. Here I am, just handing out this great advice for free. Is this Happy Wrestling Land or the god damned Performance Center!?
Rating: Straight-up FUN
Jacob Fatu & Juicy Finau vs. AJ Gray & Effy
Mostly enjoyable tag romp that played to everyone’s strengths. A lot to like about Fatu and Finau: two big samoan bros who do big samoan shit. Fatu will also randomly throw out a crazy ass dive and I must respect it. Him and Gray seemed to have a propension for beating the brakes off each other. I wouldn’t be opposed to checking out that title match between the two coming up next month.
Rating: About three stars, I think
ACH vs. Mike Bailey
BANGER ALERT! Two guys well known for their tag work in Japan hooking up in the US and delivering the best possible execution of the Indie Dream Match layout. They did the classic opening standoff and it just escalated from there in completely wild fashion.
Now would be a good time to mention that West Coast Pro have a very wholesome crowd who boosted this main event to new levels by being shockingly not-annoying by American indie standards. Never burying the action in dumbass chants and just reacting organically. I respect THE WEST COAST FLOCK.
The match balanced its endless amount of crazy shit with a high-level comprehension of wrestling basics – probably my favorite combination when it comes to Epic Match Wrestling. Wicked striking – both dudes laying in their chops and kicks like they were still working in Korakuen Hall.
There was a Fuminori Abe-esque dragon screw from ACH near the end with such absurd timing that a dude in the front row nearly had a heart attack. Bro, I felt the exact same. Both guys kept outdoing each other as the match went on – from the zero-hesitation-top-rope-Quebrada sequence to the impossible-to-describe-Tiger-Driver-from-split-position shocker. Independent wrestling putting its best foot forward.
Rating: Get it on the spreadsheet, baby.
Captain Lou’s Review: DDT Ultimate Tag League 2022 – Finals (2/27/2022)
Yusuke Okada vs. Yuki Ishida
Ishida’s sumo background clashing with Okada’s hard-ass basics made for good opening match wrasslin’. Big shoutout to Yusuke’s sweet new Burning jacket.
Rating: Half a plate of meat and potatoes
Danshoku Dino vs. Hiroshi Yamato
With Yamato no longer part of Damnation, the man can finally go back to his first love: professional singing. A blessed development. Unfortunately, he had to make with Dino at his most basic. Rapey matwork ensued and that’s about it.
Rating: Bad
Toru Owashi & Shuji Kondo vs. Soma Takao & Kazusada Higuchi
There’s the Aagan Iisou reunion you always wanted. I’m pro-Owashi in every context, but watching him drop the comedy to work as a straight-up mean dude was a fun change of pace. Everyone seemed fired up by the 2003 Toryumon nostalgia and put in a serious shift. You won’t find a better piece of midcard business than Higuchi standing up to Kondo’s Lanzarse.
Rating: GOOD
Chris Brookes & Masahiro Takanashi vs. Shunma Katsumata & MAO – Ultimate Tag League (Block B)
What an absurdly-tight package this was. Both teams brought the high-level tag chemistry and came up with all sorts of creative tomfoolery. Like 80’s TV wrestling with an extra dose of capoeira flippery. Every time I’m ready to give up on Takanashi, he busts out some galaxy-brained rollup reversal to reel me back in. Seriously, the timing on that finish has to be seen to be believed.
Rating: So much fun
HARASHIMA & Naomi Yoshimura vs. Yuki Iino & Yumehito Imanari – Ultimate Tag League (Block B)
In the grand pantheon of problematic DDT gimmicks, Iino and Imanari’s extreme horniness feels slightly less offensive than Dino’s sexual assault-based shtick. Am I crazy to think this? Has pro-wrestling finally reduced my brain to mush? I think I might even prefer this version of Iino to his previous bullshit haka gimmick. Please cancel me.
Rating: Butts
Konosuke Takeshita & Yuki Ueno vs. Tetsuya Endo & Jun Akiyama – Ultimate Tag League (Block A)
Yep, this delivered the exact kind of main event DDT-filtered-through-old-school All Japan tag team goodness that the doctor ordered. Take/Endo previewed their upcoming KO-D title match in grand fashion and I have feeling this one won’t look much like their 2019 banger. Judging by the ultra-physical matwork opening, they’ll likely be leaning less into the indie dream match tropes and more into the Jumbo Tsuruta-ISM that’s driven Takeshita’s latest run.
Meanwhile, Ueno played the world’s greatest babyface in peril, getting his ass kicked by Uncle Jun and making fiery comebacks. Go back and watch the 2021 D-Oh belter between these two if you haven’t seen it. The match peaked at the right time with a super imaginative ending stretch – Endo pulling off mind-melting acrobatics before biting the dust. Still trying to wrap my head around that handspring reverse DDT thingy.
Rating: I will pursue legal action against anyone who didn’t think this was great
Daisuke Sasaki, Minoru Fujita & MJ Paul vs. Yuji Hino, Akito & Yukio Naya
Man, Sasaki really is rounding up the sleaziest of the sleaze for this new version of Damnation. I’m half-expecting the Brahmans to join next. Naya was kind of the sole highlight here, as the match kept drowning in dry heel shenaniganz and Hino chop comedy.
Rating: Mostly not good
Yukio Sakaguchi & Saki Akai vs. Sanshiro Takagi & Maya Yukihi
They designed the match to put over Maya as a big deal and it worked like the charm. She came off as badass in all key sections of this professional wrestling journey – taking the intergender fight to Sakaguchi and big dogging Saki for the finish. The girl is looking like a fun addition to the DDT roster.
Rating: Solid
Konosuke Takeshita & Yuki Ueno vs. HARASHIMA & Naomi Yoshimura – Ultimate Tag League (Finals)
Certified banger of a tournament final with the Reggaeton Don Naomi Yoshimura delivering a career-defining performance next to three of the best wrestlers in the world. There’s guaranteed fireworks whenever you put the former Nautilus lads across the ring from each other and this felt like the high point of their story so far.
Emotions ran high and so did the high-concept ideas. This was a match with a lot of wildly inventive shit that could’ve easily collapsed if performed by lesser wrestlers. It all looked like a million bucks here and made for one hell of a ride. From all the wacky misdirection spots to HARASHIMA slipping out of the Sauna Club Doomsday Device with a freakin’ reverse Frankensteiner – the execution matched the ambition.
After a slightly disappointing showcase during the D-Oh tournament last year, this tag run with HARASHIMA helped put Yoshimura right back on track. I still don’t think he has the same kind of ceiling as his buddy Ueno, but the way he wrestled here made him look like a potential Shigehiro Irie-level dude who can more than hold his own in big main event spots.
Rating: Slobberknocker AF
Stardom 11th Anniversary Nagoya Supreme Fight (1/29/22): The Shortcomings Of High Expectations
Stardom ended last year on pay-per-view crowning new heroes and providing an enticing path forward: Saya Kamitani put it all together to win the Wonder of Stardom Title, Giulia returned from a year-long injury, and her tag partner Syuri continued an unexpected year of dominance right through Utami Hayashishita to become the World of Stardom Champion.
It was so good. As good as any wrestling I’ve seen lately, as far as building talents up and logically paying rivalries off in important scenarios or whatever. They exceeded expectations and more impressively did it adapting to injuries and The Puroresu Pandemic Crowds.
How to follow-up or even build on exceeded expectations is a riddle across culture and industry (especially when no one can agree on how to measure the flippin’ expectations!), but at the end of January Stardom was back on pay-per-view about to try. Maybe. Kind of. The cycle of wrestling is complicated sometimes.
Kamitani and Syuri are defending titles, Momo Watanabe has turned heel, and a small exodus from Ice Ribbon has brought some new players to the Dolphin’s Arena. First though: a 5-Way Battle.
0. 5-Way Battle: Momo Kohgo vs. Saki Kashima vs. Fukigen Death★ vs. Ruaka vs. Rina
Pros:
Momo Kohgo seems legit.
Comfort in familiarity
Jokes
Cons:
Everybody just beat up on Momo.
Jokes
It was a 5-Way Battle. *1/2
1. Future of Stardom Title: Hanan [c] vs. Lady C
This was for the Future of Stardom Title. They circle each other, then lock-up and exchange wristlocks. Hanan applies a headlock but Lady C is able to power out with a Russian legsweep. Lady hits a big boot but runs into a takedown from Hanan. Lady chops Hanan and Hanan responds with an elbow. Lady C hits a chop. Hanan hits an elbow. Lady hits a chop. Hanan hits an elbow. Lady hits a chop. Hanan hits an elbow. Lady hits a chop. Hanan hits an elbow. Hanan hits another elbow and Lady falls into the ropes.
Lady gets up and hits a bunch more chops, then whips Hanan into the corner only for Hanan to jump to the turnbuckle and hit a crossbody attack. They struggle for leverage and Hanan hits a northern lights suplex hold for 2. Lady gets up and chops Hanan’s head, then hits a backbreaker and applies a kind of cobra clutch submission before setting up the chokeslam… only for Hanan to roll through and try a cross armbreaker! Lady C escapes with a rollup for 2, then charges with a kick only for Hanan to slam her down.
Hanan does a bodyslam that turns into a suplex but loses the bridge and covers for 2. Lady C kicks Hanan and hits the chokeslam and gets a 2-count when Hanan grabs the bottom rope. After a slight miscommunication Hanan hits an axe kick, screams, and hits an iffy backdrop hold for the win at 5:56. **1/2
2. Utami Hayashishita & AZM vs. Momo Watanabe & Starlight Kid
I didn’t think the #TagMatch was particularly great, given how great @utami0914’s reign was last year. It’s a shame, but I had a blast watching AZM stand out among the established stars and Momo just being a whole different person. #STARDOM サイン #StarlightKid ***
3. SWA World Title: Mina Shirakawa vs. Thekla
This rocked, both as a good wrestling match and entertaining showcase for a new face — Thekla — who from before the bell to after plays the game different from everyone else: laughing, shimmying, crab-walking. I don’t know if I followed all of it but the unusual outshined any inconsistency and there’s a crabwalk into spear spot towards the end that just hits. ***1/4
4. Goddesses of Stardom Title: Hazuki & Koguma [c] vs. Maika & Himeka
The champions dance
Tower of Doom and near falls
Did not get going **3/4
5. Wonder of Stardom Title: Saya Kamitani [c] vs. Unagi Sayaka
Three years into her professional career, Saya Kamitani had seen it all. Or at least she thought she had. She’d have reason to think so, given that just three years into her career she was the Wonder of Stardom Champion and walking down the entrance ramp in a sweet-ass entrance jacket. She spent 2021 first establishing her name with dazzling high-flying then establishing her credibility by finally winning the big one — or at least the one you win before you win the big one.
She roughs Sayaka up for a while but takes a beating too, fully delivering herself into a flapjack and taking a whole Crossroads on the floor. “Taking” “heat” isn’t really the deal with Kamitani though — she’ll fly and throw down but mostly she’s going to freestyle for a while until the near falls come and hopefully it’s all spectacular enough to overcome the suspension of disbelief that arrives a little more than is ideal. Saya Kamitani continues. ***3/4
6. World of Stardom Title #1 Contender’s Match: Mayu Iwatani vs. Giulia
I liked that this wasn’t a Triple Threat Match as initially advertised, but I didn’t like that this went a full 30 minutes. ***3/4
7. World of Stardom Title: Syuri [c] vs. MIRAI
Good match, good kicks, needed more to make MIRAI stand out. Really good kicks though. A summary by Captain Lou can be found below. ***1/2
Happy Thoughts: Very possibly better top-to-bottom than some of Stardom’s PPV’s last year but this was lacking the high-end match(es) that most of those PPV’s did, and thus I ended up kind of unimpressed with this very solid wrestling show. 3.5 / 5.0
WWE Elimination Chamber 2022 (2/19/22): Re-Classifying The Definition Of Insanity
I am writing this sentence two-and-a-half weeks after Elimination Chamber 2022, which in WWE Universe Time can feel like an eternity or nothing at all and sometimes (usually) is somehow both. It was the 12th edition of Elimination Chamber the show and 30th edition of Elimination Chamber the match. Where was it? A little country known as—
0. Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz
WWE is still capable of greatness by virtue of just employing Rey Mysterio, neck-and-neck with Liger and a few Luchadores in possessing an ability to not only endure but be superior to the business around them deep into their career. Miz played a proper dipshit and was in place for every Rey spot at just the right time time, though the obscenely excited opening match crowd probably helped a little more. ***1/2
1. WWE Title: Roman Reigns [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Goldberg
Uninspired setup, unremarkable delivery… and yet, it happened. We can question why WWE is in a place where Roman/Goldberg is one of the few last spectacle matches available to them while at the same time enjoying this stupid yet perfectly laid out 6-minute pro wrestling match. Staredowns and Spears, smoke and mirrors. ***1/4
2. Elimination Chamber – Winner Faces Becky Lynch for the RAW Women’s Title at WrestleMania: Bianca Belair vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Liv Morgan vs. Nikki ASH vs. Doudrop
Bemoaning the state of the Elimination Chamber match in 2022 lacks more imagination than the Elimination Chamber match in 2022 itself, but here we were. It was laid out well enough to always have something going on, including a big run by Belair at the end and the shocking aptitude displayed by WWE when they referenced Alexa Bliss and Nikki A.S.H.’s partnership from two years ago. Nevertheless, it was still a match where you had a person named “Doudrop” entering a thing called the Elimination Chamber. ***
3. Ronda Rousey & Naomi vs. Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville
Nobody was asking for much from this other than the basics, and they kept it basic. It was so basic that it almost delivered, but too basic to actually. All in a day’s work. **1/2
4. Falls Count Anywhere: Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss w/ Happy Corbin
There was a moment during this where I remember thinking it seemed like a fun WWE house show romp, but all I recall now is that moment and Riddick Moss getting dumped right on the top of his head with a move gone wrong, which for a second felt like it was a career-ended but thankfully ended up just being something WWE could replay over and over the next night on RAW. Hahahaha! ***
5. RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Lita
Another belated passing of the torch dream match (ish) like Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg, and like that match we can ask why this is here or we can just appreciate the effort if not the delivery. When Lita went to clap hands with those little girls in the front row… man, you know — for a brief moment, I felt OK about every terrible thing any country or person has ever done. ***1/4
The planned The Usos RAW Tag Team Titles defense against the Viking Raiders didn’t happen when The Usos attacked The Vikings before the bell. Some people just want to see the world.
6. Elimination Chamber – WWE Title: Bobby Lashley [c] vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins vs. AJ Styles vs. Riddle vs. Austin Theory
Bemoaning the state of the Elimination Chamber match in 2022 lacks more imagination than the Elimination Chamber match in 2022 itself, but here we were. It was laid out well enough to always have something going on, including a big run by Brock at the end and Theory getting tossed off the Pod. Nevertheless, it was still a match where you had this Brock Lesnar character once again waltzing his way to a WWE Championship. ***
Happy Thoughts: There was a consistency to the wrestling here, even if you’ll be perfectly fine not ever watching any of it and it’s actually very possible you’ve already seen similar if not identical matches before. The Road to WrestleMania… it rolls. 2.0 / 5.0
How I Met Your Puroresu: S2 E1
How I Met Your Puroresu is a series dedicated to providing background information on matches in hopes of broadening horizons. These matches will be no longer than that of a sitcom as to not overwhelm a first time viewer.
Company: Big Japan Pro-Wrestling
Show Title: Ikkitousen 2022 ~ Strong Climb – Final
Match: Daisuke Sekimoto vs Yasufumi Nakanoue
Stakes: Strong Climb Final
Length: 17 Minutes
Production Date: February 20, 2022
Air Date: February 26, 2022
The Japanese wrestling scene tends to start the year off hot before simmering back down into a building period for the next couple months. New Japan famously starts off with a show at the Tokyo Dome on January 4th and this year NOAH began what they hope to become a tradition by running the Budokan January 1st. While the giants up top were blowing their load early, Big Japan was crafting a tournament underneath.
No one would argue that Big Japan is nearly the size of their competitors so in a time of year where everyone is reeling from big time matches, it’s smart to try and gain attention anyway possible. Wrestling fans don’t want any lulls in their viewing habits, it’s always onto the next match. Running a singles tournament continues giving them the shot in the arm they crave.
The tournament featured two blocks of six wrestlers, the winner of each meeting one another in the final. This isn’t anything new or groundbreaking, but it keeps the fans engaged with something familiar. You got newcomers to the tournament, Takuho Kato and Kosuke Sato, two young boys looking to make a statement and the junior champion, Kota Sekifuda, representing the Strong J side of the roster.
Kosuke Sato was unable to score a victory in any of his five matches. Kota Sekifuda gained an upset pin over eventual block winner, Yasufumi Nakanoue, in a result that put Nakanoue behind the 8-ball. He needed Takuho Kato to overcome Hideyoshi Kamitani, a former BJW Strong World Heavyweight Champion, which the youngster was able to pull off, sending Nakanoue to the final as the A Block representative.
As for the B Block, not much was in question. After Daisuke Sekimoto received a count out victory over Yuya Aoki who broke his leg just minutes into their match, he’d sealed his way to the final. In fact, he was undefeated heading into his contest with Nakanoue. This would only be their second singles match against one another, the first going the way of Nakanoue just last year for the BJW Strong World Heavyweight Championship.
Yasufumi Nakanoue’s title win over Yuji Okabayashi in January of 2021 was one of the year’s biggest upsets. A division can’t thrive with only two pillars but that’s been the case for Big Japan. They’ve struggled to really get behind a guy that can be seen as the equals to both Sekimoto and Okabayashi. In 2021 they doubled down by having Nakanoue defeat both men and carry the title into September.
In a division where very few are seen at Sekimoto’s level, Nakanoue is as good a bet as anybody. While Sekimoto is the face of Strong BJ, the legend has now entered his 40s, has failed to capture the title his last three attempts and hasn’t been champion since the spring of 2019. In that time, he’s lost championship bouts to Okabayashi, Nakanoue and Takuya Nomura. This will be his third trip to the Strong Climb final, never having won the tournament.
Winning the tournament etches your name into the BJW Strong World Heavyweight Championship match at the Yokohama Budokan on May 5th. Will Big Japan’s first show ran in the new building feature the longstanding ace or will Nakanoue be able to usher in a new era of what it means to be Strong BJ?